Everyone is probably different. I have a few good friends who got pregnant quite young, and it was the best thing for them. Now they are in their early 30's and the kids are growing up so they have a bit more freedom.
DP and I had carefree 20's which we are grateful for. We've done our partying, done our big overseas trips and adventures, gotten to a good point in our careers so i imagine if we do have kids soon, our 30's will be spend doing family stuff. DP is a real family man, and we come from a big family full of kids, so i think we'll just go with the flow. I am grateful though, that we've had our bit of freedom.
Every person is different.
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28-08-2012 16:49 #11
28-08-2012 16:55 #12
Unplanned babies V Planned Question...
I think it's an individual thing.
My DS was unplanned and I am a single parent but I am more than happy to let the childless life go. I don't get much out of going out for a night on the town these days and would much rather spend that time with DS. I wouldn't go on a holiday without him because I would like him to experience everything alongside me.
28-08-2012 17:06 #13
Definitely an individual thing. I think regardless of whether a child is planned or not different people will handle it in different ways.
28-08-2012 17:07 #14
It depends on the person. My friend planned her babies, even underwent IVF, and her kids get little to no attention. I think some people have kids because that's what is expected of them at that point in their life, not because they want to.
28-08-2012 17:32 #15
Re: Sterile water injections for back pain in labour?
Jasper wasn't planned and from conception was my whole life. I did have trouble bonding though. I wasn't totally prepared. But I did have a partner.
It does I think come to the person.
Some people plan babies and don't really want to be hands on parents or understand what's really involved. What you sacrifice.
28-08-2012 17:53 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Re: Unplanned babies V Planned Question...
I think its a personal thing. My ds wasn't planned and I never really wanted kids. Now I don't do anything without him! And would never plan a holiday that didn't include him. Just about all of my other friends with planned children seem to have much more of a social life than I do, they still go out at night with friends, take holidays just with their partners etc. these things I don't really ever think about and I don't feel like I'm missing out either.
28-08-2012 19:12 #17-
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Definitely a personal thing and possibly an age of the child thing too...maybe?
I don't know...I wanted kids my whole life and vowed that I'd never go away without them, not even a weekend until they were teenagers or close to being teenagers and I was definitely staying at home until they were all at least school age...at LEAST because even then I couldn't imagine not wanting to be at home until they were in highschool probably.
The real story goes...my youngest will be three at the end of the year, my oldest will be 7. I started uni this year (part time this year, full time from next year and a very busy, hectic full on full time too), I've had at least 6 weekends without my kids (either they've slept at my parent's for two night or we've gone away for two nights) and next year DH and I are going overseas for a week (first time we'll leave them that long) without the kids. I can't wait, but I do love family holidays too.
I wouldn't be offended if I asked someone if they wanted to go away and they said no cause they didn't want to leave their child/ren. It's an each to their own kind of thing...when I had a friend tell me she goes away every year with girlfriends for the weekend and I said I didn't and couldn't imagine leaving them she wasn't offended at all...but I rate her as an awesome mother and she planted the seed in my head and 3 months later I was off on a girls weekend away and had.the.best.time. and declared we were doing it every single year from there on in!
What I do find a bit sad and pathetic is that a friend of mine wouldn't come on a girls weekend away because she didn't want to leave her husband cause she'd miss him too much. Gross.
28-08-2012 19:29 #18
It's individual! My ds wasn't planned and I'm literally never without him.
28-08-2012 19:30 #19-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I really dont understand why people want children then once they are born just really want no part in the whole parenting thing. I wantd kids and I wanted them to be apart of my life so they are my whole world. I just dont understand it. I dont think any less of parents wanting alone time of course, there are far worse parents out there. It just doesnt sit well with me. lol
Thanks for the replies.
28-08-2012 20:00 #20
Unplanned babies V Planned Question...
I think it's definitely the individual not planned/unplanned.. I have 2 friends that planned their children and are out constantly. Both go on overseas or interstate holidays without the kids and then there is me and DH. Our first was a whatever happens happens and I refused to go on a 2 day honeymoon when she was a year old because 'we are family' she should come lol...
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