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  1. #31
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    No I think the opposite. A restaurant birthday invite is pay your own way - unless stated otherwise. The only times you would assume it's not pay your own way is a wedding or when the invites says somethings like 'meals or nibbles provided'.

    There is nothing rude about this either, you are invited at your own cost - how lovely to be included!

  2. #32
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    Default Party invites where u pay

    I would assume that I'd be paying my own way unless it was an engagement party, wedding or 21st. I don't know if that's wrong but has been my experience so far.

  3. #33
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    Default Party invites where u pay

    I have been to and had a number of these birthday's.

    If it is just a table booked at a restaurant and everyone orders what they want from a menu, I expect to pay for myself. If I am the guest then usually we would all put in a bit extra and pay for the birthday boy or girl too!

    If a formal room has been booked and is catered for where everyone gets a standard meal, buffet or cocktail food then I wouldn't expect to pay.

    This is my expectation and experience regardless of the formality of the invitation.

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  5. #34
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    Default Party invites where u pay

    Quote Originally Posted by giggle berry View Post
    I have been to and had a number of these birthday's.

    If it is just a table booked at a restaurant and everyone orders what they want from a menu, I expect to pay for myself. If I am the guest then usually we would all put in a bit extra and pay for the birthday boy or girl too!

    If a formal room has been booked and is catered for where everyone gets a standard meal, buffet or cocktail food then I wouldn't expect to pay.

    This is my expectation and experience regardless of the formality of the invitation.
    Exactly this for me too!

  6. #35
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    Default Re: Party invites where u pay

    Quote Originally Posted by giggle berry View Post
    I have been to and had a number of these birthday's.

    If it is just a table booked at a restaurant and everyone orders what they want from a menu, I expect to pay for myself. If I am the guest then usually we would all put in a bit extra and pay for the birthday boy or girl too!

    If a formal room has been booked and is catered for where everyone gets a standard meal, buffet or cocktail food then I wouldn't expect to pay.

    This is my expectation and experience regardless of the formality of the invitation.
    That's the way I see it, too!

  7. #36
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    I think it's very rude to send formal invitations to an event at a restuarant where you require you guests to pay, but not tell them what the cost is.

    I am actually not a fan of guests paying their way at any kind of event where formal invites have been sent and I would never do it myself. I kinda think that if you can't afford to provide the party..have something a little more low key or at the very least, make it clear on your invite how much it will be and specify "no gifts".

    A casual birthday get together is one thing "hey guys, we're going to XX restaurant for my bday, come along if you want!" and it's totally acceptable to assume your guests will pay for their meals. But sending proper invitations...no. I think it's a bit of a cheek to be honest.

    OP, I would probably clarify with the host by sending a text asking what the cost will be. That way you can be prepared with cash on the night and not be put in an awkward position of not having enough or whatever.

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  9. #37
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    Default Re: Party invites where u pay

    I would completely expect to pay my own way, it would just be a nice bonus if I found out at the end of the night that it was already covered
    But yeah regardless of the style or method of invitation, in my circle birthday dinners at a restaurant are split, and the birthday person would not usually pay.

    **Nothing spells as goof as typo splats**

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    Default Party invites where u pay

    If I get invited out for someone's birthday at a restaurant, I always assume I'm paying? Just like when I invite people out I don't expect to pay just because it's my gathering!

    I always choose reasonably priced restaurants and give people an idea of the menu beforehand though so people can decide if they can afford t. I'd never be annoyed if someone said no.

  11. #39
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    OP this is really simple to solve - I see your point a little clearer now I think.

    If she has a set dinner (which is what a later post of yours says) then you should feel free to either request how much it will be or is there the option of ordering from the regular rather than set menu (that way if the set menu seems a little pricey for anyone they can downsize to a more affordable meal).

    I would be surprised if you "had" to have the set menu due to dietry restrictions etc..

    I understand that inviting people to a dinner at their own expense and then imposing a set menu on them is perhaps a bit much.

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    Considering you received a invite via mail, and it's a set menu, then I would interpret that as it's a paid function.

    If it had of been a casual invite then I assume I am paying and choosing my own meal, which is my preferred option.

    If the intention is that you pay for a set menu, then IMO that hugely rude...what if you don't like the meal, or you have intolerances or allergies? It's not very thoughtful.

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