I think you need to find out what his 'religious' beliefs are. I've yet to hear of a religion that insists he be at hospital with the mother and that the mother must not have any other contact with her support network otherwise he will start threatening violence. Anyway, religion is NO excuse for abusive, negligent and dishonourable behaviour. People seem to think that just because something is someone's religion that it MUST be allowed, no questions asked and if you do question you're deemed to being rude, incentive and intolerable. No!
Does anyone know where that information is on the cycle of abuse? I think that might be great reading for the OP.
OP - as I said before, please keep posting. It doesn't necessarily have to be on this issue, we think you need support and the hubbers are hear to listen and help. xxx
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25-08-2012 09:54 #61
25-08-2012 10:01 #62
25-08-2012 10:07 #63
You know he's abusive, it's excellent you can see that.
I recommend asking to see a social worker at your next hospital appointment, they'll be able to help you leave this situation.
25-08-2012 10:24 #64
25-08-2012 10:30 #65
Punching nurses :(
Have you ever heard of the term "gas lighting"??
You seem to be doubting your reactions and feelings toward him and the situation and questioning whether you are over reacting.
Stop doubting yourself.
Have a read of this and see if any of it rings true...
Last edited by faroutbrusselsprout; 25-08-2012 at 10:34.
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25-08-2012 10:36 #66
Is it possible that you rarely fight because you are so accommodating and don't ask as much as you should of him?
Even if they were his beliefs, the hospital is certainly not going to bend over backwards for him. I went public in an area with a high muslim population, and a woman who was very insistent that she only wanted women to attend to her was told that it would depend who happened to be on when she went into labour, and if she couldn't be treated by a male she needed to make other arrangements as they couldn't make any promises. They have muslims on staff so I am sure they are respectful but they don't have the resources to accommodate everyone's beliefs.I don't know much about Jewish beliefs but I've never heard that the dad has to stick around the whole time after the birth?
25-08-2012 11:07 #67
Punching nurses :(
Quite frankly, I would go to hospital to have the baby and move in with my mum or dad immediately from there. If he threatens you, keep a note of it in a journal and get an AVO.
I'm sorry but I'm not one to beat around the bush with these types of things. At the end of the day you have not only yourself to think about anymore!
I'm in no way saying its easy, I just know you and your unborn child deserve better than this <3
25-08-2012 11:21 #68
My dad isnt around and my mum passed away, its just me. I cant break lease either and we have 6 months left on it.
I think that yes i do make too many excuses and im feeling really torn. I want to be with him but i want him to make a change, we have the councelling for that to happen but do i do a seperation in the mean time until i see a change?
He is a great provider, if we need something he will make sure we have it, if im too sore he will help me with things i need to have done. Right now he is at work trying to make sure we have enough money for when bubs comes..
25-08-2012 11:43 #69
Punching nurses :(
Hi! I had my bub at sunshine (over a year ago) During the little tour we were told about the visiting hrs. However, I had bub at 2:30am, afterward DH was helping me up and into the shower nurse asked if we felt comfortable on our own or she would help I said I was fine with DH so he stayed until the afternoon when my mum came, then he came back and even though visiting hrs are till 9pm all partners stayed longer.
DH stayed till 10/11pm each night until bub was settled, the lady I was sharing with, her partner and kids were kicked out each night as they were very loud and disruptive.
So I guess if ppl behave appropriately they bend the rules!
25-08-2012 11:54 #70Senior Member
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