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  1. #11
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    Default Would this bother you?

    Honestly I would struggle a bit with this friendship... My DD made friends with a classmate who had some behavioral issues, which I have no problem with but I draw the line when the child doesn't follow the house rules when visiting for play dates. Not a fan of jumping on my furniture, running thru house screaming! I know I have control issues but I would be on edge constantly wondering what they were getting up to! Your DS probably is drawn to his carefree spirit! Maybe just playdates on neutral ground... With a run through of rules before meeting up!

  2. #12
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    This kid sounds like every kid I wanted to be friends with!! The complete opposite to me! These types of kids were the ones I would click with because we were so different and had such different upbringings. Did it make me naughty? Sometimes. Did it completely change my personality to be exactly like them and disregard my own upbringing completely? Not at all.
    It takes all types and your DS making a friend is wonderful, who cares it he's a little on the wild side with a potty mouth. Your own parenting, values and beliefs I'm sure are enough to be the main guide in your sons life, not a kid he catches up with a couple of times a week and a kid who he is obviously making a connection with.

  3. #13
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    Default Would this bother you?

    I have a friend who is terrible at anything discipline related with her kids, to the point where I don't arrange to see her much anymore because her kids are always hurting mine and she does nothing.

  4. #14
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    I think it's important to establish that there are things 'we' do and there are things some other people do, in terms of rules, beliefs, ideals... not only does it make establishing your own preferences easier, but it also promotes tolerance.

    My kids are still a little young to understand this concept, but we have a lot of family members who do things very differently to how we do and this is how I intend to deal with it.

  5. #15
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    Default Would this bother you?

    I have friends with kids who have 'interesting' behaviours. I often feel a little uncomfortable with said behaviours and whether my DD will copy/follow. However, DD tends to be a bit cautious with these kids and on more than one occasion, she has seen the bad behaviour and walked away or not engaged in it.

    The point of my story is, if you teach your kids what is okay behaviour, then hopefully when crunch time comes, they'll do the right thing. If your DS starts to show some less favourable behaviours after playing with this boy, talk about what is the right thing to do and discuss alternatives/strategies for dealing with the other kid. If you get really worried that your DS is starting to copy etc, then reassess the situation.

    It's great for kids to play and start learning about different people and social interactions.

  6. #16
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    Default Would this bother you?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I think it's important to establish that there are things 'we' do and there are things some other people do, in terms of rules, beliefs, ideals... not only does it make establishing your own preferences easier, but it also promotes tolerance.

    My kids are still a little young to understand this concept, but we have a lot of family members who do things very differently to how we do and this is how I intend to deal with it.
    I agree!

  7. #17
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    Default Would this bother you?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I think it's important to establish that there are things 'we' do and there are things some other people do, in terms of rules, beliefs, ideals... not only does it make establishing your own preferences easier, but it also promotes tolerance.

    My kids are still a little young to understand this concept, but we have a lot of family members who do things very differently to how we do and this is how I intend to deal with it.
    I think it's harder to distance yourself from families, much easier with friends.

    I don't think my children should tolerate being constantly hit, kicked, punched, bitten just because someone else does things differently.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I think it's harder to distance yourself from families, much easier with friends.

    I don't think my children should tolerate being constantly hit, kicked, punched, bitten just because someone else does things differently.
    I never said that.

  9. #19
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    Default Would this bother you?

    Thanks everyone. Im fortunate that they will generally be catching up in neutral territory like parks so will just try to be consistent with DS and let him have fun with his new friend. If it becomes a problem I'll reconsider but it's a very good point that it can open up conversation about why we do things the way we do

    Good practice for teenage years I guess

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Would this bother you?

    Look at the positive side, the other boy may learn good behaviour from your DS and you may have good influence on the other mum :-)

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