It's a pretty huggy culture with my friends! I'm not naturally affectionate so I tend not to initiate it. We all do kiss on the cheek and a hug. It really does not upset me to see my DH hug another female, and I think it's cute when the guys hug!
My best girl friends (only three) will give a peck on the lips. But I guess I wouldn't do this with a male and wouldn't be pleased to see DH do this
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25-08-2012 09:51 #31Senior Member
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- Aug 2011
25-08-2012 14:23 #32
Personal Boundaries.. How are they different for men and women?
Would I be happy if Dp was randomly hugged? No, because he is generally not an affectionate person so it would be very strange and make me feel uncomfortable.
I do not like random people touching me at all. I don't even like shaking hands tbh. That said, with people I feel close to I am happy to touch and be touched. The girls I go to college with are great and we often hug or smack a bent over backside or whatever. The other day one of them was getting a massage and I went over and kissed her forehead... It was taken fine, but someone not friendly with us looked at us like we were freaks.
So for me, the only people I want touching me are people I'm close to. Or doctors or beauty therapists or something... I don't feel afraid of their touch either. I just hate strangers or people I don't really like touching me.
26-08-2012 22:36 #33
I think it depends on the people and their friendship.
There are some people I am friends with who I was very physical with. My best friend at school was a guy and we've been together in so many states of undress it's funny (all completely innocent.... dam swimming, massages, hot summer, getting dirty) and we've slept in the same beds, hugged a lot.. etc.
If I still saw them now (they are in Tas) I'd still hug them and would still do the other stuff too.. I'd just make sure that DH was around also.
DH doesn't really have any close friends, but if he did and they were really tight, but just good friends. I wouldn't worry about hugs or hand holding, arms over shoulders or stuff... as long as it wasn't to the exclusion of me.
27-08-2012 19:26 #34
Interesting Gret! I have a similar relationship with my man friend (well, my man girlfriend lol) .. Lot's of innocent friend stuff, we've shared a bed (although we stayed up chatting all night like school kids lol).. Nothing suss going on, just a close friendship.. It's refreshing to have someone of the opposite sex as just a friend.. More people should do it!
Dh doesn't really have any close friends either, and the friend he see's most is a guy.. Any other female friends are sort of mutual friends.. Even so, I don't think I'd care about hugs, hand holding, arms over shoulders etc.. But I'm not sure about the exclusion thing.. I actually don't think it'd bother me if those things were happening if I wasn't around, as long as I knew it wasn't intimate? It's a trust thing I guess.. I can see how it could be a no-go if you didn't know both parties.
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