Such a hard one. If I had a son I wouldn't care what colours he liked or if he wanted to wear dresses etc but I'm not sure about going out in public in a dress only cos of what others might say. Not that I'd care what they think but I wouldn't want him to be upset by it I don't know, maybe if he was aware that people might stare and say things and he didn't mind then I would be ok with it.
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21-08-2012 11:50 #61
If your son loved wearing dresses...
21-08-2012 11:57 #62
Re: If your son loved wearing dresses...
This is really a tough question. My son has pink and flowery outfits and people mistake him for a girl all the time, or they raise their eyebrow when i say he's a boy. But he's only so little and i'm always with him. It would be hard to think about the possibility that he may be teased or bullied for what he wears and i can't be there to protect him. I'm not sure what i would do
21-08-2012 12:00 #63
roz2288- dress and raise your children as YOU see fit. And you are entitled to an option. Am so sick and tired of peoples opinions being shot down.
OP- tricky! I have a 2 yo boy and currently growing another boy. I would love my boys to be into fashion as I love it too- dresses in public at six years old? I am not sure to be honest. People would judge- whether it is right or wrong they would- and I am not sure I would want my sons to go through that? I am not sure. I wish you the best with it as like I said- it's a tricky one!
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21-08-2012 12:08 #64Senior Member
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- Aug 2009
it is a tricky one...and I have not had to deal with this with my DS.
The only thing close is very recent. He was desperate for a mohawk, has been asking for years.
I finally said yes and let him have a lot of say in how it looked. I was very unsure of his final look, but he loved it, so i let him go for it.
Anyway, he got lots of good feedback and 2 negative...and for the next few days, would not wear it "up".
He then asked me what i thought would look good, still having a mohawk, but changing a little.
So, we made it a bit narrower and took it down in length (so it was not so high). He still loved it, and then when he went out, it became a non issue.
So, i guess, i would talk to him, give him a say and let him do as he wants. I love the pink/purple shirts idea...but, i would let him chose them as he is ready. If he gets a bad time, talk to him and let him know that we should not hide himself to please others but you understand the tricky balance between fitting in and being ourselves. Help with advice if he wants it.
We are here to guide our kids...while supporting them to be themselves. It can be nerve wracking watching them figure out who they are, but such an amazing privilege to love them through it.
21-08-2012 12:12 #65
If your son loved wearing dresses...
I have a 12 year old nephew who goes to a very rough public school in western Sydney. He has a pink school bag, a pierced ear and alternates between pink, purple and diamanté studs each day. His shoe laces are pink, he has pink caps. He wears necklaces and bangles and his hair is longish. It's not the same as dresses but he certainly stands out. He doesn't get teased anymore because he simply doesn't care what people think. He is confident, outgoing and has such a force of personality and individuality that his peers respect his difference. I don't know how common this is but it's not what I would expect in the school environment he is in. He is also on the footy team and in dance group. He's an amazing example of a great kid with his own style.
21-08-2012 12:13 #66
21-08-2012 12:13 #67
I would let him. I know what it's like to challenge societies beliefs, it would be hypocritical of me to stop my child being a pioneer in gender stereotyping.
21-08-2012 12:16 #68
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21-08-2012 12:16 #69
Thank you everyone, for such thoughtful responses. I thought I might get a mixture of "Of course, he should wear whatever he wants, you repressive monster!" and "Never! Don't you know he'll catch the gay?", but most people have understood my conflict between wanting to encourage him yet wanting to protect him. Thank you
The thing that broke my heart was about a week ago he was talking about how much he loved my outfit, then he said "I wish I was a girl". I asked him why and he said "So I could wear lovely things like you do all the time".
21-08-2012 12:18 #70
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