He would have been one of my best friends at school - he sounds absolutely gorgeous.
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21-08-2012 13:38 #91
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21-08-2012 13:47 #92
If your son loved wearing dresses...
As a child I had a rather large collection of dress ups from dance recitals, which were very popular with friends playing at my house... Boys and girls alike loved playing princesses and dragons, little Bo-peep, fairies etc.
My older brother had a friend who was completely obsessed with one pink dress. I don't remember him being picked on for it by the boys, we all just played happily. I didn't want him in it as he was too big for it but he always insisted he wore it. There were other behavioral signs that differed from the other boys who dressed up in girls clothes for a laugh. He felt comfortable at our house and he was different, unfortunately his own self esteem told him he was not supported by family and friends, and battled depression at school and then sadly took his own life.
If you are there to support your DS in his choices then I think that is the best decision you can make. Only you know how well you have armed him to cope with social situations outside your home. How many of us have taken our kids to the supermarket dressed as fairies, princesses or superheroes? Maybe your DS might like to wear a dress up style outfit to gauge reactions and comfort level. People will stare but mostly at how cute the novelty of it is for your child. Kids love attention... Though it does sound as though your DS has quite an eye for fashion. I think that is lovely. My DD used to love dresses, now she says pants and tees are just "my style"... Bless them! I feel proud to hear her know her own mind.
Today's society is so much more accepting of those who make different choices of wardrobe. Most menswear is very metrosexual, I don't like the look personally, but my DF loves his pink shirts etc, but has his own style. I'm not sure when tradition changed but long ago men wore pinks and red to honour the blood of hunting and gathering, while women wore blue to signify the sky and home/family.
Things will always be changing... It up to us to support our children to enable those changes.
Also... Cotton on kids had boys skinny leg jeans in lilac and other brights!
21-08-2012 14:26 #93
Re: If your son loved wearing dresses...
It is a tough one. I have a trans gender cousin boy to female, who as far as I'm aware, always felt like a female.
All I can say is, I love to see Angelina Jolies girl dressed in boys clothing... That is what her makes her daughter happy, so stuff what the media and public think :-)
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21-08-2012 17:02 #94love my kidlets
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21-08-2012 17:05 #95
21-08-2012 17:12 #96
You sound like a wonderful parent to me, and your son an awesome little individual!.... With excellent taste!
I hear your struggle - clearly there's no problem inside the home, its the outside world that's scary.
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21-08-2012 17:50 #97
Re: If your son loved wearing dresses...
Lambjam, i have only read through the first page of the thread but i think that you are doing exactly the right thing by your son. It would be difficult to feel that by confining some of who he is to the home that you might be undermining all of the love and unconditional acceptance that you demonstrate at home. But, you are doing exactly the right thing by allowing him to explore this at home and not out in the big bad world because you know that some people are so incredibly ignorant and fearful of sexuality that doesn't fit with their world view and there are people who use violent means to show their disapproval. I absolutely agree that it is the bullies who need to amend their behaviour but you would't put him in the water with sharks and no way of protecting him self and this is no different.
As for how you make him understand why je can't be himself out in the world, i might give that one some thought.
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21-08-2012 17:56 #98
My brother was like that. He will still, at 35, go to dress up parties as females. He has been Cleopatra and Pocohontas, and formy 30th, Madonna. His wife rolls her eyes. Their son, just turned 1, has a pink handbag that he saw at the markets and loved. He wears it everywhere, it has an owl on it, and he is so adorable. My daughter prefers nudity, so clothing is good lol. I see no problem with it. My nephew has a fairy outfit he also chose at the markets but he has only worn it once.
21-08-2012 21:08 #99
know it sounds corny but i love that angelina jolie completely ignores all the rubbish written about her letting her daughter wear boy's clothing. i think in a small way she is challenging expectations and society and saying it's okay to let kids be kids.
i think what you are doing is great - letting him explore. he has his whole life to face up against ignorance and at least he is getting freedom, confidence and unconditional love in the home.
22-08-2012 07:22 #100Senior Member
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To be honest.. No I wouldn't let him do it. I feel he would be bullied which makes life hard as it is. I would maybe sit down and talk to him about the possible consequences of wearing stuff like that in public? If he chooses to go ahead with it than let him. I'd have no problem with my son wearing dresses if that's what he wished but there's no way I'd let him do it outside the house. I feel he'd be bullied and have no friends. I just couldn't let my child put himself through that.
If he chose to do it as an adult than he's old enough to recognise the consequences and things that happen in the outside world and I will always support him 100%.
Children shouldn't be bullied because they like to dress up in dresses but it's the way it is. Well they shouldn't be bullied in anything.
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