I can't understand why the groom would not put his foot down here.
Children are invited yet an adult is being left out due to a disability, can she not see how awful this makes her?
A wedding day is NOT all about the bride, it's about a couple sharing their special day with loved ones.
ETA I would most definitely decline and share my reasons.
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20-08-2012 12:51 #101
Spinoff from 'no kids at weddings'
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Stiflers Mom (20-08-2012)
20-08-2012 14:11 #102~~My 3 Little Ones!!!~~
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- May 2008
Re: Spinoff from 'no kids at weddings'
So sorry to hear that bride is being a real cow! I'd understand no children but to exclude one out not right.. What does she think your son is going to take the spot light off her? She is crazy! Groom needs to grow some b.... ,Yep! Or he will be getting controlled all his life!
Or if you want to make a point to her you can take your son to the service, as anyone can attend that, as that might be get main issue she wants quite during the ceremony.
But in saying that what makes her think your child is going to be the loud child there, I reckon some 4-5 years old that maybe attending would behave worse then you're child without a disability, but in saying that kida are kids, but to single out your child due to his condition that is just plain simply just selfish of her!
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20-08-2012 14:14 #103
And having a blanket 'no-children' rule is completely different to singling out one adult individual with a disability.
Child free functions occur every day of the week. If it was one child that was not allowed I'd see no difference, but this - this is discrimination, pure and simple.
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20-08-2012 14:19 #104
I think any bride/groom who shouts, "THIS IS ABOUT ME!" (either directly or through their actions) is a jerk. Yes, you are the one getting married... but you really need to respect and consider your guests and their needs too. That's what good hosts do.
I can understand she may wish the day isn't "ruined" by an autistic adult relative, but is having a "noise-free day" more important than "not offending and upsetting people we care about"? In my eyes, the latter is far more important than the risk that the relative may make a bit of unpleasant noise.
20-08-2012 14:53 #105
hi, just to get back to the neighbour, I would be very tempted to contact all the family and share the fact that xxx has not been invited because of his autism and see how the rest of the family feels about it. I would think it might be very lonely on the grooms side of the church. I would send a letter to the bride explaining why my family would not be attending the wedding, and I would be cutting them out of my life. In my opinion there is no excuse for this behaviour, and it shows no guts to just leave the cousins name off the invite. marie.
20-08-2012 14:55 #106
OMFG that is horrible, the bride is a b!tch It's completely discriminatory, he is being singled out due to his disability, which he can't help. So wrong!
I wouldn't be going if I were your neighbour!
20-08-2012 15:47 #107
This bride's perception of perfection needs to be revised.
A perfect wedding is one where every guest loves and is loved by the bride and/or groom. People who have enriched their lives and genuinely add value to the day.
A ceremony that is 'interrupted' by a bit of noise or a perfectly posed photo with an 'imperfect' face can't destroy, or even impact, the joy that being surrounded by loving people will bring.
Like a PP said, people with special needs enrich our lives and having the cousin there will make the wedding better because he is an important family member - just like anyone else?
Both the bride and groom need to get a grip.
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20-08-2012 20:19 #108
The father of the bride must be thanking his lucky stars he's never had a stroke. Can you imagine? "Yes Daddy, I love you very much but... You won't be able to walk me down the aisle, or really even be at the wedding, cos you have a bit of a saliva issue and look, move and sound a bit weird. It's being taped though, so you can watch it later!"
I can't help but wonder what would happen if the groom was ever in a car crash, drowned, hit his head, etc and developed an ABI. How long would the "in sickness and in health" vow hold out? Life isn't perfect and seriously bad sh!t happens. I'd definitely think twice before tying myself to someone who doesnt seem able to include and accept the less than ideal parts of life.
And I see a huge difference in the kids and disabled argument. It would be very disappointing to explain to your LO that they can't go. You wouldn't have to dance around the issue of why, though. Autistism, or any type of intellectual impairment, doesn't mean stupid and unaware.
I can't finish what I wanted to post. There have been too many times that I've witnessed the results of someone's self image being torn apart by oblivious idiots. I'm so frustrated at all the people this bride represents that I want to throw my iPad and can't be unemotive.
20-08-2012 20:27 #109
and I agree, the couple need to get a grip and realise what and who is important in their lives...
14-09-2012 11:14 #110
I just wanted to say I feel really sad about this situation.
At my wedding I had two people with complex disabilities they are a huge part of my life and always will be. It didn't cross my mind that their noises or disabilities would interfere with the process. It was a privilege to have them there.
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