Well it's D Day for me according to my normal cycle and I am fearing the worst. I woke up and couldn't help myself, POAS and got another BFN. Went to the toilet again later and had a small amount of very pale pink discharge although I don't normally get AF until day 26 of the cycle (today is day 25). I just want to cry. I was so certain I was pregnant again, I had every symptom known to man, even DH was convinced I was pregnant. I hope AF doesn't come and it's just implantation spotting. I feel so sad.
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23-08-2012 10:54 #41Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Perth WA
23-08-2012 13:11 #42
I'm really glad to see a thread like this in the TTC section. I have been taking a break from the hub and had a great month with no stress, etc ... until AF arrived this morning - after 22 days
For those of you I haven't seen in other threads - I'm sorry to have to meet you in this thread, but I'm glad there are others experiencing the same things I am. I had a mmc in May - it took 12 months for us to get UTD that time and still have nothing to show - 15 months after we started trying. Boo!
I went to a FS the other day - my old GP sent referrals to Monash & Box Hill - I cancelled the Monash appointment as I was UTD, but then Box Hill sent me a letter confirming an appointment last Friday. I had completely forgotten about it so decided to go and talk to them about what has been going on and see if there is anything hubby and I should be doing.
Well, the FS was a complete ... jerk to put it very kindly. A medical student came and got my history, which was perfectly fine, I know people have to learn. No problem - and I said she could come in with the actual doctor as well. When the doctor came in, he didn't even introduce himself, he just asked the student what she'd learned from me. She sort of gave my history but had missed so much because she hadn't asked the questions she should have, etc. and he was rude about it. Then, when I confirmed that my missed m/c was *this* May, not last May, he looked at me and said, 'There is nothing we can do for you then. The good news is you can get pregnant, if you're still not pregnant in six months, you can come back and see me.'
He then took the time to tell me that I haven't actually been trying for 15 months, I have only been trying for 3. I understand what he is saying, but he was so rude! He only let me ask one question - about a temp drop from every other month I've been taking my temps to this month - and told me not to worry about it, then told me that was all! I felt like a naughty child being dismissed from a principle's office!
Anyway, sorry for that major rant! I am feeling so down today after having been so positive this month - especially since my cycle and LP are so much shorter than usual. Grrrr!!
23-08-2012 13:39 #43
Argh - I just wrote out a huge reply and then IE decided to throw a wobbly and I lost it! I'll have to do the condensed version...
Hi to the new joinees - sad but nice to see some familiar faces in here.
Angelini - that sounds like a horrible consult! I think that's why this thread is nice because we're in the boat of our struggles potentially being brushed off because 'at least you can get pregnant' - yeah thanks, that doesn't give me a take home baby though does it!
Raeleneb - big hugs at getting a BFN. I've had so many symptoms with every cycle since my losses, plus started spotting 1-3 days before AF since my last loss too. What we've been through seems to not just mess with our hearts and minds, but with our bodies also!
GirlX - sadly I don't have any scan photos, but I have kept all my POAS. They are currently in a drawer but I think I should put them away so I only see them when I need to see them. I also have gotten a little angel figurine as a keepsake to remember my two angels by.
Del - hope the witch isn't being too painful, hopefully it will leave you with an awesome uterus lining all ready for a little bub to latch onto come October!
Luey - I think we all feel a bit like that and I know I feel a bit guilty for feeling like that too. I was finding it very hard to stay positive when I was congratulating the next 'newbie' on their BFP time after time.
Hi to everyone else, I hope you're having a good day and not procrastinating as much as me!!
AFM - silly me, I'm hopeless once there are pregnancy tests in the house! Tested this morning and got the expected BFN - I'd only 7-8dpo. So many symptoms this cycle it's driving me around the bend! I'm testing again on Saturday (probably still too early) and then on Monday. If Monday is a BFN I'll know I'm out and can swing past the bottle shop ready to console myself when the witch arrives!
23-08-2012 13:47 #44
Hey Tormy and Luey let's hope we spend less time in this thread than the other one heY?
Angelini - he sounds like a rubbish FS! I would persevere and find someone who will take you seriously. What an @rse.
RaeleneB - sorry about your BFN. Hate those single lines.
GirlX - I threw out all my scans, didn't want them at all. I have kept the first BFP from each pregnancy through, five now sitting in my memory box
Del - 2nd last AF before TTC again?
Stretched - tut-tut-tut naughty girl! Hopefully there is still a chance this month.
AFM - this current mc started last night so I will get to avoid a D&C which I'm very relieved about. Hopefully will be all over in a week or so.
I emailed my FS last night and asked whether I could transfer one of our frosties when I ovulate next rather than waiting for another period, which will happen when I'm traveling for work most likely so would mean putting of any more transfers until next year most likely. Bet he says no but worth asking I guess.
23-08-2012 23:02 #45Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
tigger - that is kind of good news for you. Yay for the no d &C but sad for you though. Figners crossed your FS agrees. It can't hurt can it? Figners crossed it would work this time doing soemthing different
Stretched - OMG I am the same. Test from 7-8 dPO, yay for the symptoms. I have had none last two cycles
RaeleneB - hugs. That single line is horrible. I spend so much time twisting and turning it in different lights to see if I can see the magical 2nd line. I keep telling myself if I have to try that hard it isn't there. I also keep checking.
Angelini - how horrid for you.
GirlX - My scan was on a CD which I found yesterday when cleaning up. I haven't looked at it. I don't want to throw it out. I have put it in a drawer for now. I did buy a pandora charm (angel). that was hard. The woman in pandora asked me who it was for I said 'me', she seemed surprised. After I had paid and she had wrapped it she said 'I hope it brings you good luck'. OMG it was all I could do to get out of there without crying.
6years - I liek the balloon idea
IS it bad that I am already planning on buying OPK for next cycle? I jsut can't seem toget positive. Off to bed soon. Sleep well and stay warm everyone
24-08-2012 08:22 #46
Long Term TTC with a History of Loss Chat
Tormy... Thanks for the FS info. Starting to get a clearer picture of what's involved cost wise etc. DF says let's see one but in the back of my mind it's just more pressure to perform! Think I might get referral for a gyno first and go from there.
Del... Blood tests suck majorly. I now get myself so worked up with tears, shaking, passing out! Doesn't help that I had my lymph nodes out on my left side so no bloods or even bp cuff allowed and my right arm had my chemo so most of all the good veins are damaged and useless. Last time it took three people and five different vein sites to get 2mls! Was howling so loudly but last vein was inside my wrist... Said it would hurt but never imagined it like that. Was meant to go back for dropping hcg but haven't
Stretched... Had to lol re bfn then straight to bottle-o! That's what I do too
Tiggerfields... Hopefully MC goes swiftly for you x
Luey... Love your charm idea... I bought black pearl earrings for my 12week loss
Girlx... I just file my films away with my other medical records...I stupidly pull them out to study and compare statistics with each preg. Think I drive myself more nuts each time!
6YT...planting a flower sounds like a positive way to move on. Having some sort of closure always helps me too.
Tee Tee... Welcome! My friend who has PCOS (and higher bmi) finally got her BFP after 9 years ttc ..now 20weeks! This past year has seen me increasing my BMI
I have stacked on 12-15 kilos... And am only just finding my motivation to shift it again. I had shed 35 kilos, so I know I can do it. Strange thing is my only child was conceived when I was at my heaviest (97kg) so go figure!
Angelini... Sorry your FS was a tool... I hate appointments where you just want answers and you leave thinking what the heck?
Raeleneb... Sucks for BFN but you know it's not over until the Red Lady Sings!! I POAS yesterday and got BFN too, so I def feel for you.
24-08-2012 12:45 #47Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Thanks for the replies to my question about scans. I really appreciate it. There are some nice ideas in there too.
Raelene - I will keep everything crossed for you that it's not AF. I know that feeling of looking at the HPT and trying to will that second line to come.
Angelini - That FS sounds horrible! Could you get a referral to a different one? Doesn't sound like someone you're going to want to go back to!
Stretched - Hmm you sound very similar to me!! Crazy early testing, followed by wine later if needed. Have you been reading my clinic notes...?
Tigger - Glad you can avoid the D&C, but I'm still sorry this is happening to you. Hope your FS comes back to you quickly.
luey - Completely understand the not feeling positive thing. I think that once you've done so many cycles, you just get in to the swing of expecting to do the next treatment cycle. I think I've lost touch with the fact that there might be a baby at the end of all of this!
PickledPink - I suspect I might be like that with the scans too. Before the mc I was already comparing the latest scans with those from when I was pregnant with DD.
AFM - Seeing the FS next week for a scan, and all being well they'll do an FET shortly afterwards. Am currently on CD5, and taking Progynova.
I'm starting to feel weirdly positive again, after a while of feeling numb and detached. I'm not sure if that's a good thing! I'm starting to feel a little excited.
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24-08-2012 16:24 #48
The funny thing about the FS is that we were planning on waiting to see one until closer to the end of the year, but then the appointment letter came so I decided to go! Will definitely be seeing someone at Monash next time - I hear they're the best in Melbourne.
And I'm still waiting for AF to arrive fully. I was convinced she was here on Wednesday, 9DPO, but just light spotting. Then more spotting yesterday and now nothing today! FX it was implantation bleed, but I always get my hopes up only to be disappointed. I'll test on Sunday if she hasn't arrived fully.
I hope you all have great weekends
24-08-2012 19:47 #49
Anyone else have this insane cluckiness, like where you could burst into tears at any given second bc you so desperately want a baby? I was watching the Tudors last night where Jane Seymour has her baby and almost lost the plot seeing the baby.
Am I neurotic over all this TTC business? lol wait.... don't answer that
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24-08-2012 21:04 #50
Long Term TTC with a History of Loss Chat
Angelini... Got my fingers crossed for implantation for you too! Gone are the days where we just symptom spot just before AF, but also now for signs of ovulation. Problem is I have always known when I'm ovulating, now I second guess everything! Sometimes knowledge is a dangerous thing!!
Del... You are not neurotic! It's like when you are buying a new car and all of a sudden you see that model everywhere you go! Every book I read, movie I watch, shop I go into, there are babies everywhere! It's all consuming. My issue is I want this more for my DF. It actually scares the bejezzus out of me. I want this really badly, but am scared for myself physically... I almost died last time but our family would be complete...He is super clucky his bro/SIL just had a baby, now his cousin is having one. The pressure is crazy, like I'm a ticking timebomb. I said last pregnancy if it's goes awry I'm out... But I'm not yet 40 so giving it a decent crack! At least it's lots of fun practicing;-)
AFM... AF was due today but hasn't shown any sign of appearing, though with the MC last month I'm sure I ovulated CD17... So will give it a few more days then test again.
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