ok... so im going to give you the short of things... after a few problems that we are sorting out df and I made a few agreements to help out how things were going and how I was handling things etc. (I am currently 35 weeks pregnant, we moved house a month ago and I have been very stressed and worked up about things and have started to see a councillor, in which df suggested in one of 'talks' when things started to go sour...) so... in the newest agreement I told df that I was coping with things and that I needed some consistency etc... so we made the agreement that if he was going to work from home ((which he does sometimes) that he needs to let me know the day... not on the morning of when his alarm goes off and wakes us all up... so he started to do that... which has been good... then a few other things he agreed to where about having his mates over... I didn't want them over during the week on school/work nights etc at all... but he said that wasn't fair... so I made an agreement that they could come over but on week nights they had to leave by dinner time so we could eat as a family and dd (4 years) would get to bed at a reasonable time... and that if theyh stayed for dinner then he had to let me know before they got here so that I knew I would have enough food etc... and they weren't just allowed to rock up on my door step and he had to give me some notice... he agreed to all of this and the week was fine... tonight he told me his mate would come over and be here for dinner... that's fine... I had enough food etc I was prepared for him to be coming... I was a lot calmer and handled things a lot better... what I am annoyed at is that his mate is still here at 10.30pm on a week night and dd is STILL awake!!!! I calmly asked df to wrap things up... an hour ago... and still nothing has changed... im beginning to get worked up and stressed out again and feel as though df is not respeccting me at all because he hasn't kept to his word... am I being unreasonable? how do I make df understand?
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15-08-2012 21:33 #1
issue with df
15-08-2012 21:48 #2
issue with df
I think you're doing really well to remain as calm as you have. Under those circumstances at 35wks I think I would have had a tantrum that would make a toddler blush!
Personally if I'd already subtly nudged my partner to no effect I would inform the friend of the rules directly. I would be polite but direct.
"we love sharing your company but at this stage in my pregnancy I really need DD in bed earlier than this and visitors beyond X time just make that impossible. As you can see its 10:30pm and she's still up so we're going to have to call it a night. Thanks for coming, bye."
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15-08-2012 22:29 #3
It has taken alot of strength to remain calm... I usually don't... Lol. I went out and said I think you need to wrap things up now... Within 30 mins his mate was gone... Df thanked me for being calm and not making a scene etc... But I've told him 11pm is far too late for a week night! We will see how things pan out next time... But atm I am feeling good about it... Even if I didn't get my way completely. Lol. sd has finally drifted off to sleep... Way to late for a 4 year old though and that will be the next thing bought up because even her kinder teachers have noticed it now too...
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giggle berry (16-08-2012)
15-08-2012 22:36 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
wow, you have alot more patience than me! I take my hat off to you! Yes, from now on, if the friends haven't left by a time that reasonable, just go out and say so... they will all get the hint eventually.
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