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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling terrible

    15 years ago i did something very wrong. I went to high school with A and B, they were a couple. I fell in love with B and did everything i could to get him and i did, they broke up. Me and B broke up 2 years after. I knew it took A a very long time to move on. She got married a few years later, unfortunately to an as$hole and had a daughter with him. They had divorced.

    I have always felt guilty to A. We are friends on facebook but i put her in restricted list, i feel ashamed to "face" her even just online. I've just heard that she has bone cancer, she's about to lose her legs and gradually her life. Her daughter is only 5. She has no money left because her ex husband took it all. I feel so horrible. If i hadn't tried to steal B they would have got married and her life would have been better because B is a good person. I want to do something for her, her daughter and also for me to feel better but don't know what to do. My bff who also went to the same school talked to A lately and she said she has forgiven me. I just moved her out of facebook restricted list but it maybe just another wrong thing. Now she is able to see my happy family and may think i'm rubbing it in her face... I feel so bad, i think about her all the time.

  2. #2
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    Look, I can see why you feel bad but how you feel isn't rational.

    How do you know they would have got married? If he was really in love with A he wouldn't have left to be with you. You were all young and in highschool and that kind of behaviour is what happens with hormonal teens. There future wasn't set in stone and you diverted all that and caused all of these horrible things to happen to her.

    It was her choice to marry her ex. Yes, he might have not been a great bloke but there is alot of great guys out there she could have 'possibly' married so that really is her doing. Her ex wasn't the only guy left on the planet to marry after B left her in highschool. Of course him leaving and taking their money and been an awful husband is not what anyone deserves.

    What she is going through and the cards that have been dealt for her is awful and of course you feel sad for her but you didn't wish for all these things to happen for her or make these things happen. If it was me, I would send her a nice message on FB offering any help, or make a donation to a foundation that fundraises for cancer research, or send her and her daughter some nice little treats or a meal to brighten up there day.

    Guilt is a terrible thing but you were a teenager and you can't beat yourself up about it. Take a pro active approach to the situation and I think this may help.

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Aquillah For This Useful Post:

    LifeInShadesOfGrey (14-08-2012),lovesushi (13-08-2012),MsImpatient (13-08-2012),mum2mj (13-08-2012)

  4. #3
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    Thanks so much for your suggestions, they're fantastic. I was so blind with guilt i couldn't think straight.


 

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