I'm a jealous person so if it were a female friend I didnt like then i would be ****ed unless he picked his sister even if I didn't like her I'd deal with it but if a male you don't like just be civil and as long as he doesn't start being a **** leading up to the wedding but if he did explain to htb that you don't want him/her wrecking ur day
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13-08-2012 07:33 #41
13-08-2012 07:34 #42
Yeah I wouldn't like that.
I've been on the other end of it though. My male friend got married at the start of the year. We've been friends for about 6 years and he met his now wife about 3-4 years ago. She HATES me. She was jealous of our friendship and extremely untrustworthy of it (no idea why I do not want your fiancé).
I didn't even get an invite to the wedding because of it. I was really hurt by this. It's also ridiculous, I have a partner and a child with him yet she still doesn't trust our friendship. Righhhht?
13-08-2012 07:36 #43
13-08-2012 08:10 #44
Yeah I don't think I'd like it either. But I guess it would depend on whether it was a "tolerate each other" kind of thing or a definite hatred there. Although in the case of your DP with her sister (brother?) I don't think it's so bad as the DP didn't know, so at least it was making their day uncomfortable.
13-08-2012 08:26 #45-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I just thought of something.
Sometimes people need to have a vent/let off steam to their friends about their partners even if overall their partners are pretty darned good (eg "hubby forgot to take the bins out AGAIN).
The tricky bit is the friend has to
Recognise when it's just healthy venting and not something serious. My good friend has a vent every now
And then about her partner and I've got to be careful to not hold it against him and them as a couple. She just needs someone to listen who won't hold a grudge against her partner.
(if something was really serious I would step in and say something).
Perhaps your partner has been venting to the friend/telling her details about your relationship, and the friend is just hearing that and not the good stuff?
13-08-2012 08:36 #46
She said yes, I do vent to you because I thought you were my friend. Now you're holding that against me and I feel as though I can't talk to you anymore because you're going to take that and use that as the basis for all judgments on my relationship. So pretty much, DP was so upset and the only reason they're really talking is because of work.
But as DP doesn't have many friends, she's reluctant to lose this one entirely too. So she's decided she won't use her as her vent board anymore, but even though DP is over it, her friend doesn't want to see me anymore (presumably because she knows I'm annoyed). Which is fine, I feel the same way.
I guess I'm also annoyed DP will let this girl back in when I know how upset she was about it all. I just want to protect her.
DP has supported this friend, without any judgment, through two abortions (which nearly ruined her training as she didn't pass the physical training aspect of their course at first), a relationship break down as a result of her cheating, and now her relationship with DPs only other close friend. The fact that she hasn't extended the same understanding to DP makes me so angry and I don't think she's a good friend at all.
13-08-2012 23:46 #47
Yes I would be annoyed and would make it known.
14-08-2012 08:47 #48
14-08-2012 22:08 #49Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
You asked, I answered, and then gave my opinion. I must have mis-read one of your posts to have thought she was one of your DP's best mates who'd known her a few years, so I apologise for the misunderstanding on that part.
I do, however, stand by the rest. Your best friends are the ones who tell you the things that you don't WANT to hear, but you need to regardless, if only so you have a different perspective on things. Good friends are the ones who tell you things that you do, to make you happy.
And it wasn't meant in an angry way, it's just how I speak when I get frustrated and angry with situations like this. And so it wasn't aimed at you, just general frustration, mainly because I was in that situation and it's one of the most frustrating things ever, so I feel sorry for other people in it and frustrated on their behalf.
So I apologise if you took it to heart, I didn't mean to offend you by my angryness.
14-08-2012 22:20 #50Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
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