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  1. #1
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    Exclamation **Spin Off**, Deadbeat dads/sperm donors and women 'taking' responsibility

    **Spin Off**

    Do you think women don't take responsibility for a situation where the 'father' is a deadbeat?

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    hmmm do u mean for choosing the deadbeat in the first place?
    or for him remaining or becoming one?

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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpysmurf View Post
    hmmm do u mean for choosing the deadbeat in the first place?
    or for him remaining or becoming one?

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    All 3

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    Considering a good 80% of children of separation live with their mother I would say absolutely.

    I haven't read the other thread but I do know my son's father is a deadbeat, rarely sees him by choice because he would rather act like a teenager, doesn't pay CS,smokes in the house etc. DS lives with me, I work to earn enough to have enough money to feed, clothe and house him, tuck him in every night, make every meal for him, make the decisions re education, health and everything else. Not sure what else I'm meant to do really.

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    Ahh, ok. Well I am responsible for my own behaviour, I can't control his. He is responsible for his own mistakes, I take no responsibility for his actions.

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    i do think women often chose not so great men to procreate with and then throw their hands in the air and act shocked he is a deadbeat dad....i wonder if they are being deliberately blind...i mean, if he was unemployed and spent all his time playing computer games/drinking/smoking...did you really expect him to be an awesome father?

    Or, getting preg to men they don't know...and expecting a lot from them...not a good idea.

    However, some men do change...for better and worse. Some will step up and some will step down (hide income, quit work, not show up, get abusive) and this is harder to allow for.

    So, in some cases, yes, i think women need to take responsibility for breeding with a clear loser...but sometimes, it is beyond their ability to see that they will turn into a loser.

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    o
    Last edited by GuestMember; 14-07-2014 at 19:59.

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    I know of sperm donors that started off doing the right thing, marrying then taking responsibility for 10-12 months, then leave mother and child, cut themselves out of their Childs life completely, tell the mother that if they try to claim cs they will quit their job and live off the good will of their parents and find himself a younger newer model... I know a guy that is like this and has 4 kids and his grand daughter is older than his youngest child...

    He started out like a 'good' father but just did a complete 180

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    Sometimes woman choose men who they think are normal and then the men does a 360 and becomes an **** hat..

    So what about that?

    Should that woman take responsibility for his behavior? If she never saw that behavior previously?

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    i see it more as...if a guy has sex and a baby is made...he is told "well, you know that this could happen and now you have to deal with it".

    The reverse side of that is for the woman "you chose to lay down and have sex with THIS man...you have to live with the consequences of that".

    Just like for the guy...he has no say in whether she keeps the baby etc...

    The woman has chosen the father of her child...if she chose a loser (a clear one, not one that suddenly changes) or someone she does not know...she bears some responsibility in that.

    I am not saying it makes him any better or removes any of his responsibility...just that she should own the fact that she chose badly!


 

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