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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummykahla View Post
    It wasn't said out of anger. It's been 3 days since we have had any kind of argument! The problem I have is he can't just say "oh the kettle is empty" it's always "how hard is it to fill the damn kettle, its right next to the sink, you sit on your a$$ all day, you have plenty of time to put water in the kettle..oh the baby was crying? You could've left him for 5sec to fill it" I always say sorry, I'm forever apologizing but it's never good enough, he just says well it's not the hard to do the right thing. I honestly think that I cause him that much stress that he can't control himself even over small things. He never fills the kettle, checks doors or rinse the sink either for the record.
    Honestly? From this post, it sounds to me that he's the one with the problem, and not being a good enough partner....not you! I wouldn't put up with a partner talking to me like that You're not his damn slave! He is being really harsh and unfair on you...
    Last edited by ~ElectricPink~; 12-08-2012 at 14:36.

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ~ElectricPink~ For This Useful Post:

    FindMyLunch  (13-08-2012),Gandalf  (14-08-2012),giggle berry  (12-08-2012),Glover  (12-08-2012),Stiflers Mom  (13-08-2012)

  3. #12
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    Would you get some counselling together/separately?

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    LoveLivesHere  (12-08-2012)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummykahla View Post
    It wasn't said out of anger. It's been 3 days since we have had any kind of argument! The problem I have is he can't just say "oh the kettle is empty" it's always "how hard is it to fill the damn kettle, its right next to the sink, you sit on your a$$ all day, you have plenty of time to put water in the kettle..oh the baby was crying? You could've left him for 5sec to fill it"
    I always say sorry, I'm forever apologizing but it's never good enough, he just says well it's not the hard to do the right thing. I honestly think that I cause him that much stress that he can't control himself even over small things. He never fills the kettle, checks doors or rinse the sink either for the record.
    That is no way to speak to someone, married or not.

    This is a way of trying to put you down.

    You deserve better than that, and should not have to apologise.

    My love, I'd be having some firm words.

    Mega huge cuddle...
    Last edited by Glover; 12-08-2012 at 14:47.

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    ~ElectricPink~  (12-08-2012)

  7. #14
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    This guy is abusive!!!

    The 'I love you but' comment is the nicest thing he's said out of the rest of the insults and controlling behaviour.

    You'll never do the right thing with a man like that. They change the rules and look for fault. A good father does everything he can to ensure his family are happy, healthy and safe. he should be building you up not beating you down.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MMelissa For This Useful Post:

    Stiflers Mom  (13-08-2012),~ElectricPink~  (12-08-2012)

  9. #15
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    Honestly hun you would benefit from some counselling.

  10. #16
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    After reading what you just wrote I think he is the one with the problem. Why can't he fill up the damn kettle? He had hands yes? I think treating you like a slave is so disrespectful and not being compassionate or understanding of your PTSD is horrible.
    You don't sound like a bad mother or wife, he sounds like a demanding husband.

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    ~ElectricPink~  (12-08-2012)

  12. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummykahla View Post
    "I love you but you make it really hard sometimes"
    How would you feel if your other half said this to you?
    Would you take it as a judgement on your character? As a suggestion that you are somehow too flawed to love wholeheartedly or would you just take it as you have a few small things that need working on?
    It is not you that needs to work on small things, it is him.

    I just wanna give you a virtual hug...


    Sent from my GT-S5830 using BubHub

  13. #18
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    He sounds like a gigantic douchenozzle

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    CluckySC  (12-08-2012)

  15. #19
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    Oh wow. If the kettle needed filling up so badly whats wrong with him pulling his finger out and doing it himself? What a douche.

    Would he go to councelling? Either couples or alone?

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  16. #20
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    He has actually been court ordered to do a men's behavioral change course but refuses to go as it's "only for druggos and deadbeats that bash women" and he also thinks that the judges (2 separate ones) where singling him out because they always take the womans side and he has dark skin. I have done CBT and have suggested couples counselling but he always makes excuses why he can't. I actually want to leave, but don't want to drag my poor kids through a messy break up. He also tells me to "stop playing the victim" which hurts but I ignore because I don't WANT to be a victim. He is actually a really lovely guy but I think he has a lot of deep rooted issues himself. His father treated his mother the same way and he has gone through a horrible experience (his cousin who was also him BFF took his own life when they were teenagers) that I think has made him fearful and nasty towards mental illness. It is a sign of weakness in his eyes.


 

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