It's like anything - the more they do it the better they get at it. However I hear women making excuses for the laziness of men over and over again... 'it's a male thing' etc and even go do far as blaming women for not giving them enough 'opportunity' to do things with the kids. Sheesh give me strength! Even the 'goid' ones who do housework seem to have the luxury of choosing which chores they do. I've met few men who don't have to be 'asked' to clean the bathroom!
In life, the less people do, the lazier they become.
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11-08-2012 11:53 #11
11-08-2012 11:56 #12-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Last edited by GuestMember; 14-07-2014 at 19:59.
11-08-2012 12:23 #13
Agree with blackeyedpea, "it's a man thing" and "it doesnt come naturally to some" is a total cop out. Parenting didn't come naturally to me either. Do I use it as an excuse to be a half-arsed parent? Nope.
11-08-2012 13:05 #14
I think that the more the dads get involved, the better they get with the children. It's very tempting to go fix what they are doing or doing it ourselves, but if they never have a chance to learn it they never will.
Dads are usually at work all day so it's natural that mums have a good head start with knowing the children, what works and routines. I try to let DH catch up on things on his own with minimal instructions. He says that bub prefers me because he doesn't cry as much and I explain he cries with me too but I had more time to learn to settle him and ask if he wants any tips.
I understand that not all men are the same. I'm very lucky that DH is very hands on. However I don't expect him do pick matching outfits or to do things the way I like all the time. If DH feels that he doesn't do anything right he won't bother anymore and it will all be on my shoulders.
If there is something that he is doing consistently that I don't think it's good for DS I bring it up - I haven't had issues with food choices yet because DS is breastfeeding. And I feel that he's welcome to do the same with me. I like to think that we are parenting together, rather than him "helping me out" or "babysitting".
11-08-2012 13:29 #15
11-08-2012 13:29 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
So, this is going to come out really harsh, and I do apologise. However.
For the people who say that Dads feel like babysitters, and get angry that he doesn't stick to your food routine, your sleep routine, your dicipline routine, etc.
Does anyone notice the most common word in that?
YOUR food routine. YOUR sleep routine. YOUR discipline routine. Where is the "OUR" in it? Has anyone actually sat down and discussed with them and made a plan together? Or is it, you've decided how it's going to be, too bad, that's how it is?
No wonder they refer to it as "I'm babysitting the kids" because, tbh, it is EXACTLY what he's doing. Yep, it's his kid, and it doesn't sound like he's had any choice in how the kid is raised, what goes into it, he's just gotta fall in line. Just like a babysitter. Have you asked your DPs/DHs/Dfs if they are comfortable with how you've single handedly decided to raise their kids? No? Then stop complaining when they do it differently.
I see this SO much on BH. It drives me up the wall and makes me wanna tear my hair out.
11-08-2012 13:30 #17
I think it's easy for dads to fall into the "cool parent" category. Why should they worry about nutrition when you do that every day of the week? I know sometimes I feel like the only one who cares about DS' diet, etc. I think all people can get lazy when you know that need is being taken care of by someone else. I don't think it's the right thing to do, but I understand it.
As for helping with housework, oh my goodness just don't get me started....
11-08-2012 13:31 #18
11-08-2012 13:53 #19
11-08-2012 13:59 #20
I think it's about perspective too. My poor Dh can sometimes do no right when it comes to food because I can be so over the top about it. I am very lucky he is involved with the kids in every way. Sometimes I think he backs off over food because he's worried, lol.
We wouldn't have anything bad in the house anyway.
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