Ok, so another thread got me thinking. In it, the op was venting cause she went out for an hour, during her son's breakfast, leaving her hubby to take care of him, and her DH gave him 2 minute noodles instead of something healthy.
Now, in the end it was agreed by most that the 'one off' bad nutritional choice wasn't the issue, but rather that the father couldn't be bothered preparing proper food... Anyway, this got me thinking...
Why is it the mothers responsibility to take care for the child's health, yet the father gets to give 'one off' treats?
(not talking just about that op's story, but it seems this way in general a lot of the time)
He's the father, shouldn't he care and have just as much involvement in all aspects of his child's daily routines and care as the mother? It seems like the mother is the carer and the father is the babysitter...
Or is this not the case?
Note: I don't want to offend anyone, I'm not saying everyone's husbands don't care, just that it seems more expectation is on the mother to be the lawgiver in this area, which I think is strange, as my DF and I will BOTH be the parents
I really hope this came out right, I'm having trouble organizing my thoughts at the moment
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11-08-2012 10:28 #1
Spinoff: the 2 minute noodles topic
11-08-2012 10:36 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
I think i get what your saying. What id like to say on the topic is, in some cases parenting doesnt come as naturally to fathers as it does to mothers.
I think you have to remember that women become mothers wehn they fall pregnant and men become fathers when their baby id born. So in that instance women have a 9 month head start on men.
I also think most fathers are a more more relaxed in their ideals of parenting than mothers. Meaning, mother have very strong ideas of what parenting 'rules' they are going to live by.
I hope that came out right im a bit tired today
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11-08-2012 10:38 #3
Don't know about the food DD is only 4 months and hubby is very good at helping out however I can see the trend... When I dress her I stand in front of her closet thinking about the weather where we're going cold/hot comfort level does this go with that socks blanket bows all matching to some degree... DH just grabs the first thing he sees!
It's a man thing...
11-08-2012 10:39 #4-
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
I think for a lot of families, the father isn't really at home much to take part in the nutritional side of parenting. Also, in a lot of families, the father often isn't the person that does the shopping and cooking.
So when they do do it, it's like a novelty to the kids (and mother, hence the he's a babysitter "feeling") and perhaps he doesn't really know much about it.
In my house, DF is often away for dinner and asleep for breakfast. He helps with lunch. When he is home, it's a joint effort for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and he does know what is good and what is bad. We both give the girls treats.
11-08-2012 10:40 #5
Well DH is the same as me, we always make sure DD has a very healthy diet. We sometimes eat junk but it's an extreme rarity for DD too. I'm very strict with her and don't allow unhealthy food in the house. Though I do love 2 minute noodles!!!!
I mentioned DH gives her chips as a "treat" but I won't eat fatty crap like that if I can help it so that's why they have them on their day.
11-08-2012 10:41 #6
I think its more to do with which parent usually performs the task. When DP is home for the day with DS, he lets him watch more tv than I would. But he always does his bath and stories before bed, and when i do it, I never bother washing DS's hair, and I'll only read him 3 stories where DP will read him 5 or 6. So at least for us it's more about being in the groove of it, iykwim. If you're not used to doing it you might be a bit more half-ar$ed because you don't have a routine.
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11-08-2012 10:42 #7
I think fathers see it as "I eat them so why can't my child?"
Whereas mothers tend to want to set their child up with a good nutritional diet in hope they get a healthy start to life and follow on with a good diet in their adult life.
I think it is a bit of a stereotype as well to say that only mothers care about their children's nutrition.
11-08-2012 10:43 #8-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
If i leave ds with his father at food time i expect him to be fed whatever is in the house,
If i didn't want ds to eat 2 minute noodles i wouldn't have them in the house.
Of course his father would feed time appropriate foods (eg toast for breaky.)
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11-08-2012 10:44 #9
I think most people would know that 2 minute noodles are not suitable for breakfast. Would the husband eat it for breakfast?
My husband leaves the house before 6, six days a week, but he would never serve noodles for breakfast. Dinner? Yes, my kids have noodles once a week as a side dish.
11-08-2012 10:48 #10
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