My inlaws have my DS one day a week and I totally get that 'my routine' doesn't necessarily work for them so I am happy for them to do their own thing (within reason...), as I am appreciative of them helping out
However if I was for one moment concerned they were neglecting DS (ie not feeding, not changing a nappy), there is absolutely no way I would leave DS with them again, no matter how desperate I was... To me, I wouldn't even give a second chance...
I hope you can find some alternative arrangements...
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11-08-2012 10:56 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
11-08-2012 11:13 #12
Of I need a sitter my kids stay with my parents. My routine is still upheld to an extent. Sleep times are different as the kids are excited to be with them, but they still have them in bed at an appropriate time and a decent rest. I've not had to worry about nappy changes or anything. Same for if they are with the other grandparents. I am so grateful for this after reading everyone's comments. My parents beg to have the kids stay over. I hope that you are able to find an alternative arrangement or work something out with them.
11-08-2012 11:20 #13
Ummm... That's child abuse. Not feeding or changing a baby - so so wrong. I'd be ripping them a new one over that & then ensuring they're never alone with my kids again.
I don't let anyone babysit dd yet, but I think I'd trust my Mum only. My Dad is the CIO type. MIL perpetually tells me to put honey on her dummy & holds her out in front of her to admire her when she's ASLEEP, wakes her up then says she's over tired! FIL hasn't shown any interest in even meeting dd at all.
11-08-2012 11:21 #14
I don't expect family or friends looking after the kids to follow my routine at all. I don't expect that my kids be fed at 6.00pm, when their family normally eat at 7pm IYKWIM. I also wouldn't be peeved if the kids weren't in bed at 7.30pm and stayed up a little later.
I do however expect that they be fed, clean and safe all of which you parents IL are not providing...if they aren't changing nappies, feeding, or supervising your children they are not fit to have them in their care. You aren't describing not following routine, you are describing neglect. I would be furious.
11-08-2012 11:55 #15
11-08-2012 12:16 #16
I agree, the answer is simple,
Don't let them babysit.
I don't trust my FIL to babysit.
He has done nothing wrong, but in my gut I just can't do it. So I will always wait til MIL is home.
But he does make me feel uncomfortable by making comments that if I do leave DS with him, that he won't give him back... But he is deadly serious.
But you have physical reasons not to let them babysit, if I was you I'd never ever ever let them babysit.
11-08-2012 12:25 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Nobody does things with the kids exactly how we do or prefer. I'm okay with that as long as they are safe and cared for. What you are describing sounds like negligence. I mean I know sometimes my mother in law puts juice in a bottle or gives them twisties or something but every now and then I can live with that. However not feeding them at all?! Leaving them in dirty nappies...? No way would I be leaving her in charge!
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11-08-2012 12:26 #18
I agree with PPs.
My MIL has DS one day a week, it took a fair bit of convincing her that he really does function better in a routine, but now she "gets it" and is brilliant - apart from feeding him a few too many treats,
My dad has DS on another day a week, he is a little bit more difficult. He won't feed DS lunch until after his nap when he normally has it before, and if he won't sleep then he skips his nap that day, sometimes I think nappies could have been changed a little more frequently but they are still changed. It's nothing like the situation you are describing.
11-08-2012 13:13 #19
What a shame
The only issue I had with my inlaws was they fed DD1 food off their plates before I had introduced those foods into her diet. Ice cream, biscuits at 9 months.....stuff I wouldn't have given to her until she was older.
One time DH's mum let her sip for her glass. It was lemon lime and bitters! I nearly died!
They also let her drink straight juice while we had a family holiday with them. I kept asking them to dilute it but they wanted to treat her. It was so hard to get her to accept plain water after that.
So yeah, poor food choices is the worst I can accuse them of.
11-08-2012 13:27 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Why would you leave your kids??? I don't understand?
When ds was born it took me a while to understand if people are baby sitting for me my routine may not be followed to the letter as long as my childrens wants and needs are taken care of that is ok.
If someone is caring for my kids at my house I don't care if I have to clean up a mess or dishes since they are doing me a favour.
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