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  1. #1
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Default Legal issue/vent

    Sorry to crash the dads forum but I'm hoping some of you guys can help!
    My DH's best friend has been absolutely shafted by his ex wife, and I was hoping some of you might have experienced something similar and can offer some advice.

    It's huge, so I'll start at the start.

    Mate (lets call him M) meets a lass. She has a daughter to another man who apparently has no contact with either mother or daughter.
    They formed a relationship. M began to see the daughter (S) as his own.
    They broke up, all the choice of said lass. M is brokenhearted, and only gets to see S on rare occasions as she's not biologically his.

    Fast forward a few months and they get back together, and much to everyone's concern, announce their engagement.
    BAG (b!tch a$$ed gold digger) comes into the marriage with several thousand dollars worth of debt. I'm led to believe a few defaults to her name as well.
    M isn't concerned, he's on a good wage and can (and does) support BAG and daughter S on his wage.

    He also is paying off his own home which he bought prior to even meeting her.
    Fast forward not EVEN 12 months after the wedding, and she says she wants a divorce. They're going through the proceedings now, and we've been told that BAG and her lawyer have managed to swing it that she gets HALF of the value of Ms home that she's never paid a cent towards, plus half of his savings.
    She's also swung it that he has to pay a lump sum (not sure how much) towards the upkeep of S to maintain her current standard of living BUT HE HAS NO ACCESS OR VISITATION RIGHTS TO S BECAUSE SHE'S NOT HIS DAUGHTER!!! As it's a lump sum and not child support, he has absolutely no rights when it comes to S.

    I'm FURIOUS about this. He never adopted S when they were married and he's not her father, so how can they demand money for her when legally he's not responsible for her, especially when BAG can claim child support from the bio dad?!
    M doesn't begrudge paying the money to S because he loves her and wants her to have a good life. But it seems insanely unfair that he will never get to see her again

    And I don't understand how a judge can look at the situation and not see how this was all a set up from the start for her to take him for everything she could.

    I'm hoping someone knows of some legal recourse that may help him at least see S on a regular basis, or even help him to protect himself from further money grabbing attempts by this horrific excuse and embarassment to womanhood. His lawyer is quite good, but any suggestions would be much appreciated.

    And just in case BAG is reading this (it's not likely but OH how I hope you do...) You're complete scum. The worst kind of low life. You're using a man's love for YOUR daughter to set yourself up and it's the worst kind of cruelty I've ever seen.
    I hope his money makes you happy, because you are a miserable, pathetic piece of work and the thought of that poor little girl suck with a mother who would rather marry someone to divorce them for their money than earn an honest living and pay her own darn debts... Well, that says a whole heck of a lot about what you think of love!

    I hope you tell her what you did one day so that she can know that there was someone that would give up everything for her, and you scr3wed him over .
    Last edited by Eko; 13-08-2012 at 09:49.

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    Euphrosyne  (09-08-2012)

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    There is no way he has to pay for the ex stepdaughter.
    He is legally not required to pay anything and should tell her to jam it.
    Last edited by Blue Dragon; 09-08-2012 at 11:56. Reason: sp

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    I have nothing to add but that just sucks....I hope M gets some really good legal advise and doesnt give in and give her what she wants. Just not fair....

    Hey you know....Current Affair LURVES this sort of stuff! Maybe it might help him if the legal stuff goes nowhere.

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    Opps....sorry. I'm not a Dad. I didnt see that bit and just read the story. Apologies!!!

  7. #6
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Haha it's ok, I only asked in the dads section because I was hoping that some of them might have experienced something similar, or know someone that has that could give some helpful advice.
    It just makes me so cross. M isn't perfect for sure, but he's a great guy and was already scr3wed over by an ex who bailed from the relationship the day they bought the house he now owns.

    So hopefully someone out there has some ideas on what he might be able to do, because I'm at loss to explain how any court can rule that he has to pay for the upkeep of a child that he had no legal responsibility for.

  8. #7
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    Hi Eko,

    We do not have a huge number of Dads around here. We want more but there you go.

    I personally hope that no one has to go through what your DH's mate is going through. The situation sucks!!!!!

    I cannot see why he should have to give her any part of the house. He needs good legal advice but finding a good lawyer is not always easy so make sure he has a good one.

    Good luck
    BBB

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Has it been to court yet eko? Or are they just the demands from this woman and her lawyer?

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  11. #9
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Apparently he's already been to court and that's what has been handed down .
    I've told him he should definitely appeal the decision but he said as he doesn't know what he could possibly do with the appeal he hadn't bothered yet.

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    The house/savings sounds pretty common to me. A friend of mine had a boyfriend (and not long-term!) and she bought a house with her father's money and he moved in with her. So not even married. Not long after things turned sour and they split up and he still managed to get a share of her property by taking her to Court. She had to sell it and pay him out and hasn't been able to buy a house for herself since thanks to him.

    Paying for the step-daughter I don't really understand. Is it spousal maintenance? Or child support?


 

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