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  1. #11
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    I believe we are shaped by the events in our lifes, those we create ourselfs and those that we dont have control over. I also believe that we choose our reactions and what we do with these events, how long term they impact on us.

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    Tainted  (09-08-2012)

  3. #12
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    What do you think op?

  4. #13
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    Agree with anagram and others Personally I think it's good when you get to a point in your life when you can realise what has shaped you and been the reason you do certain things It empowers you to make positive changes. Sometimes it takes awhile to get there though and that is ok too. We unfortunately live in a very judgemental society.
    Last edited by Ffrenchknickers; 09-08-2012 at 19:34.

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  6. #14
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    I think there is a huge difference between reason and excuse.
    I can accept that there is a reason why some people may be the way they are - everything that happens in our lives shapes us in some way or another, but I don't think that that excuses their behaviour. It doesn't make it ok.

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  8. #15
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    An ex friend of mine used being raped at 5 years old and being sexually abused as an excuse for her to go out and sleep with every Tom **** and Harry. She used to justify what what she did by using happened to happened to her as an excuse.

    What happened to her as as child might have been the reason she acts the way she does but u justify her behaviour by using it as excuse just so her behaviour is acceptable to her in her mind.

  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by IrishDanceMum View Post
    An ex friend of mine used being raped at 5 years old and being sexually abused as an excuse for her to go out and sleep with every Tom **** and Harry. She used to justify what what she did by using happened to happened to her as an excuse.

    What happened to her as as child might have been the reason she acts the way she does but u justify her behaviour by using it as excuse just so her behaviour is acceptable to her in her mind.
    Your poor friend I think you'll find its alot more complicated than that.

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  11. #17
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    I think that as a society we need alot more empathy. People have experienced some horrific things in their life and for someone to just say 'harden up' really is of no worth whatsoever. SOmetimes, people go through life making mistake after mistake and just being unable to get out of the cycle...and are continually frustrated with the way things are and deep down believe that something is just wrong with them. It isn't until the reasons people are the way they are are realised that any change can happen. Some patterns and behaviours can be so deeply ingrained. Sometimes, people just never get out of this cycle for various reasons.

    And people telling other there is just something wrong with them, or they need to get over it just makes it 5 billion times worse.

    Of course, if these patterns of behavious lead someone to commit crime or break the law, they should face the law like anyone else....but as a society I believe we need to focus more on regenerative processes once the time is served (or during.)

    Alot of people seem to have the idea that empathy and understanding = letting people get away with murder.
    Last edited by Ffrenchknickers; 11-08-2012 at 12:22.

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  13. #18
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    I don't think anyone is saying people should get over it and harden up, I certainly am not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    I don't think anyone is saying people should get over it and harden up, I certainly am not.
    No, I didn't think you were.

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    I think that we all do it from time to time, like we have a head ache so feel like cr*p so dont work to capacity while we have the head ache, So dont do that load of washing we need to do, dont read that book the child asks for, make a lazy tea etc, i dont seee an issue with that its when the head aches gone and all is fine and the behaviour carries on that is when its an excuse

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