I've skimmed threw this loooong thread as I was really interested to see why some women often state they are not feminists, but talk about derailed! Although I think what Vicpark is perhaps saying is if we want equality we need to take responsibility for our own actions, not blame men, which is truein some cases i guess,
I do however think that this is not a feminist issue as there are lots of men who blame their partners and not take responsibility for their actions, if only things were black and white, however life has lots of shades of grey.
Anyway I feel I am a feminist- and I feel that unfortunately we women often sabotage ourselves
Having a daughter i feel it is my responsibility to be strong and stand up for equality.
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13-08-2012 06:38 #361
13-08-2012 07:02 #362
Well, we think its been derailed but perhaps its the heart of the matter. You've got to wonder how many people out there who define themselves as 'not feminist' who think that it's just women avoiding personal responsibility and blaming men for their problems. Instead of examining the underlying problems and admitting sexism still exists its just easier to blame the 'victim' rather than see the bigger picture. Men need to take more responsibilty for their kids, why aren't they getting this message?
I think as we have more equality in society you are going to get more of an 'I'm alright jack' attitude from other women who think there isn't a problem anymore. I really didn't realise how badly some women are treated until I got up the duff and started reading pregnancy forums. (my main gripe was with workplaces not giving men enough time off for their kids and so putting the emphasis on women having to do it) Sexism seems to be alive and well, heck ask the guy who wasn't allowed to sit next to some kids on a Virgin flight because he was a man (and thats not feminism either before anyone gets confused, thats sexism). And men for some reason don't feel as responsible for children in society........ no wonder if they are considered potential pedophiles when they sit on a plane! But thats another topic!
Last edited by Bongley; 13-08-2012 at 07:04.
13-08-2012 07:36 #363
Oh FFS, how can people get so off track with what feminism is??!
Until very recently women in the middle east could not vote - have they been 'not taking responsibility for their actions' up until now? Sheesh
Its about the collective rights of women, which have traditionally been completely unfairly oppressed by men.
Derailing is the correct diagnosis for this thread!
Last edited by Ellewood; 13-08-2012 at 07:47.
13-08-2012 07:37 #364
PS. Can we not feed the trolls please
Last edited by Ellewood; 13-08-2012 at 08:24.
13-08-2012 08:09 #365
As a massive feminist myself, I don't necessarily agree we need 'equality' in terms of a more equal quantity of men taking time off to be SAHD's after baby is born... I think it makes more sense in most cases that the woman stays home after baby is born and that women mostly want to. I know myself i was so physically wrecked and after carrying DS for 9 months I wanted to recover, and just be with him 24/7 for as long as I possibly could before returning to work when I felt ready. It took me a year to recover physically too. More paternity leave for dads is good of course, but not if it's going to pressure or even force mums back to work before they're ready. It's about options, and making the transition back to work when/if women choose, as smooth and fair as possible, and having more options and flexibilty for dads to be contributing parents as well, which is probably for a lot of couples more relevant as the kids get older.
13-08-2012 08:18 #366-
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13-08-2012 08:24 #367
I agree, I want to be at home at the moment, It's my choice, but when I was at work (part time) after my first if she got sick at DC DHwould go get her if it was a work day for me as I only worked half the week so for us it was logical he take the day off as I would be home with her the next day on my day off, well at his 100% male work place they just never got it, it was always a problem bc they just assumed it should be the mothers job, these are the attitudes that need to change, in many places/ situations, especially the work force we still don't have equal rights.
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