So I know for sure I'm so done having kids I have two girls and for me it's enough! They are healthy, happy & my oldest is starting school next year, I want to get back into the workforce, I feel like having another would feel like starting over again my youngest is 2yo! My hubby really want to have another baby go for the boy, but to be honest i would be having another bub just for him! Not sure what to do, he knows how I feel he has talked about trying next yr, I know by then my feelings still won't change! : /
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06-08-2012 16:08 #1
When u know your finished having kids?
06-08-2012 16:11 #2
So he's going to be a SAHD then in that case? And do all the nappy changes, baths, night feeds, drs appts, housework, lunches...?
Or is he still expecting you to do that?
06-08-2012 16:32 #3
Oh gosh...... I just had my second baby and I am certain - 100% - that this is it for me! I'm lucky that DH feels the same way though. I'm not sure what I would do in the same situation, but it would be difficult - if not impossible - for me to go through another pregnancy, childbirth, a third child at home and another year away from a career I love, only to make someone else happy, when I know my heart isn't in it.
Has he acknowledged what you want as well? From your post it seems he knows how you feel, but is still pushing TTC next year regardless. What happens if you do have number 3 and it is another beautiful little girl? Will he want to try again for a boy?
It is a tough one for both of you. Perhap wait it out a few years to see how you both feel then?
Good luck with whatever you both decide to do.
06-08-2012 16:37 #4
I agree with the above. Also as a valid option, does it change anything for either of you emotionally if you returned to the work force and he was the sahp? Is that appealing/option for you both?
Also with trying for a specific gender is he also "prepared" for another girl? We wanted a second child and both desperately wanted a girl - and got one - but a third baby to try for a girl would have been a different emotional ball game (for me.)
There's so many factors, my df and I go around and around on whether to have another. Head says no. Heart says maybe. Hormones say "MAKE....BABBIIEESSS!!!!!"
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06-08-2012 20:20 #5
I agree with PPs. You might end up with another girl and then what happens?
You will, as you say be back to all the baby stages/challenges, probably hating it, your DP still doesn't have his son, so you might start to resent him for holding you back from your career etc.
Why not get him to talk to another male who has two daughters and get his perspective on what it's like to have two daughters and no sons.
You'll find too that men who have only daughters still have such strong bonds with both daughters as they too can be involved in playing and watching sport and other typically boy-type activities and all the things a dad would do with a son, so their gender isn't an issue IYKWIM?
But I'd recommend you have a serious chat with him about what would happen if you have another girl.
If he throws in, well what if it is a boy, you can focus the conversation on the negative impacts 3 kids will have on you vs the negative impacts of him never having a son. I'm sure the logic in him and concern for your happiness and sanity will leave him re-thinking it all.
If all else fails, take the pill in secret so you can't get pregnant again! - jokes! :haha:
Good Luck and let us know how you go!
06-08-2012 20:39 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
I had 2 girls and wanted a third, regardless of gender. DH needed a little persuading, but knew he had to give in. I get pregnant, then fast-forward to a couple of weeks before my morph scan and he announces that if we were having another girl, we'd have to try for a 4th so he could have a son, because he couldn't go through life without being the cricket or rugby coach- I tell him to find someone else's kid to coach and ask how many daughters he'd be happy with.
Anyway, we end up with an absolutely gorgeous little man who I fell head over heels with.
If we had a third girl, I think I would have agreed to a 4th.
DS is almost 9 months and DH jokingly says he should have a 4th, since our other 3 kids are so awesome.
However, I'm done. I don't like being pregnant, labour is not my favourite past time and my babies have reflux and I have to go on a special diet so I can breastfeed. A couple of friends have had babies recently and I've realised that I'm just not clucky anymore.
Perhaps you need to tell your DH that if he wants another he needs to be prepared to be a SAHD or go and have depo injections every 3 months so you don't have any accidents!
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