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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    Although i don't have kids yet this is what I was talking about the other day - how to I gradually evolve to be this person who is amother and also me.

    OP, perhaps for you it is not so much about having a life you are happy with now - it sounds liek a wonderful life where you are also hugely independent and pursuing individual goals as well as family things. Maybe its about finally having the time to process the pre-kids years?

    About aligning/merging/connecting who you are now to who you were when you very very little before things went off course and who you become as a yougn adult.

    Im not sure because im not you, but I was in councelling for almost 2yrs 'merging' my adult self with my innocent born self and my troubled self. It wasn't soo much about changing who I was as an adult but connecting all the other bits of myself back to the person and having a continum of existence if that makes sense?

    DUnno, everyone is different but maybe this is something you are yearning to do?
    Yep, exactly Buttoneska, I think you're right....now I am stepping back to deal with some yukky stuff I may go back to the counselor I saw last week, she was great. Merging is a good word!

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoseKathleen View Post
    I know i haven't done long stretched like some of you have - but I did do 4 years of pregnancy/breastfeeding - and I remember "coming out of the cocoon" when I weaned DD.

    The first thing I remember is buying clothes that I didn't have to worry about fitting in to, or how was I going to feed in that? I could wear dresses that had zip up the back! I could wear high-heels (which was a real challenge when I was pregnant or hauling around a small baby!).

    I also went out and ditched my glasses for contacts, had my hair done and spent money on jewellery and makeup. It was like I could finally concentrate on ME. I also got my energy back - no more iron tablets thank you very much!

    But its been over a year now and I have to admit sometimes I yearn for that closeness with my babies again. I THINK I am finished. DH say no more. I am not ready for another - give me a year and then check back with me!!
    Hehe, good luck deciding whether you want another!

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tides View Post
    I can relate... I have 4 children, my youngest has only just turned 1, so still a baby, but I often think what the next phase of my life will bring once all my kids are at school. I know what pp said, (Sakabla?), there's not much of the old me left, it's hard to remember what I was like before kids...
    I have nooooo problem remembering what I was like pre kids! Just don't want to be that person again....TIme to invent someone new! Hugs xoxo

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    Quote Originally Posted by cindye View Post
    It's been about 5 yrs since I fell pregnant with #1 and I've been breastfeeding and/or pregnant since. I'll be feeding for a while yet (DS is almost 9 months now), but I'm really looking forward to the next stage of life where I won't have to worry about clothing with boob access and DH and I can have some time away by ourselves again.
    I guess because I'm such a planner I have in my mind what the next few years are going to bring. Or at least my goals for that time.
    Because I haven't worked away from home in the last few years, I've got to focus on getting my career back on track, earning my own money (and spending it!) and getting the kids off to school.
    Anyway, I don't know if I've added anything, but I get it!
    Yep, definitely all those things to focus on...it's great you have goals I have and do all those things, am enjoying my kids (and husband muahaha) and have a very blessed life...just in a weird place atm! xox

  5. #35
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    Yep, exactly Buttoneska, I think you're right....now I am stepping back to deal with some yukky stuff I may go back to the counselor I saw last week, she was great. Merging is a good word!
    Merging was the word the councellor used to explain it to me - but it made sense. Good luck with your journey - you have already lived through it so no matter ugliness you need to face you have the inner strength to do it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    Merging was the word the councellor used to explain it to me - but it made sense. Good luck with your journey - you have already lived through it so no matter ugliness you need to face you have the inner strength to do it.
    Yep, it's the perfect word I am feeling a little better everyday. Even knowing now that people 'know' about me...and still talk to me is very freeing!

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