I'm teetering on the edge right now.
The past month has been the worst of my life, and I'm really not sure where to go fom here.
I'm in my second bout of postnatal depression (2nd child), 3 or so weeks ago I had a psychotic episode and spent 9 days in the mental health unit. My relationshjp with the childrens father is only intact because I don't have the means (emotionally or financially) to support my two children by myself.
I have NO support network, my family live overseas and I have no friends.
Every day there is an argument about one thing or another with my "partner". He is completely unsupportive of my illness, often telling me to snap out of it and complaining that I never give anything back.
I am a stay home mum battling a mental illness, I don't HAVE anything to give.
Monday night we had a fire in our garage which pretty much gutted it, alot of sentimental items were lost and there is massive smoke damage. Luckily we got it out before it spread (the garage is attached to the house). But it was scary, I had to drag my two children (6yr old and 6mnth old) out of bed into the rain whilst our home filled up with smoke and then several firemen spent hours in our house while the other half was taken to hospital with smoke inhalation. He's fine and was discharged a few hours later.
We've now learned the owner doesn't want to use his insurance to cover the repairs so we now have to deal with fair trading, tenants rights etc, to fight liability as we cannot afford to pay to repair someone elses home.
Now every time I hear a noise in the garage I have an anxiety attack.
I've started on antidepressants which so far, I'm only feeling the side effects of. I'm exhausted constantly, the pills knock me out and I can't be woken once I'm asleep, and each night is filled with sick and twisted nightmares. I feel as though I haven't slept for weeks.
I spend every day in tears, whilst trying to look after my 2 children and cope with a partner bleeding me dry emotionally.
I called the mental health unit this morning to try and get in to see someone today and they were fully booked. I told them my predicament but they could offer no advice besides to distract myself.
My baby has been crying for 3 days and I've had to hold him pretty much constantly from 7am til 10pm every day as he screams when put down.
My house is full of the smell of the fire.
Tonight my "partner" had a massive go at me because apparently he's feeling down about the fire too but I'm "selfish and uncaring and never have time for supporting him". He left the house 2 hours ago, leaving me with my screaming baby again.
I have asked him several times to speak to someone as I know things cant be easy with me having spent the time in hospital etc but he refuses to.
I want to leave him but I have nowhere to go and I don't have a job, and I'm not a citizen so cannot get centrelink payments even though my children are both australian born. I also have no faith in my abilities to be a full time single parent.
He expects me to be emotionally supportive when I'm fighting a massive battle every hour of every day just to keep myself going.
I don't know what to do anymore.
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Results 1 to 10 of 35
03-08-2012 20:49 #1
Major Depression, Recovering after Stay in Mental Health Unit + NO Support..
03-08-2012 20:55 #2
Oh hun, I have no advice but I couldn't read and not send you massive hugs, xxx
03-08-2012 20:55 #3
I really wish I had some useful words of advice for you, but sadly I don't
I could not read your post without giving you a virtual hug and showing you some of the care and support that your partner seems unable to show you xxx
03-08-2012 20:58 #4
He has just come home and went straight to the shower.
I can only imagine why he would do that..
03-08-2012 20:58 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
I'm so sorry your going through this,it sounds terrible for you. I have never had depression so I cannot help with advice , I just wanted to send you a hug, your doing it really tough. I'm so sorry your in this position and feeling so terrible . I'm from over seas also and it can be very lonely sometimes when you have no one around. How is your husbands family ? Do they live near you ? Are they able oh help out a bit?
Im sorry I have no other words of wisdom but I'm sending you a hug xxxxx
03-08-2012 20:59 #6
I wish I had the words too
03-08-2012 21:03 #7
Oh hun Im so sorry you are going through this especially with no support I wish I had some useful advice but like previous posters I couldnt just read and not send you a million hugs and strength your way I truly believe you are strong enough to get through this and somebody out there will have some great practical advice to help you Will be thinking of you.
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03-08-2012 21:04 #8
03-08-2012 21:08 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Im not much help either but i could really sense the pain in ur post. Where are you? Mayb there are some ladies on this forum that could be a friend to you? You sound very lonely. Everyone needs support and needs love.
You need to have a serious chat with ur partner. Im sorry his not being supportive
Is there any possibility of u going overseas to ur family or having them come here? At least to see you?
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03-08-2012 21:11 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Oh wow that sounds really really hard. I think you are doing a pretty amazing job keeping it together, even if only just. Particularly because you are also looking after a clingy 6 month old!!! That can be pretty overwhelming on its own.
I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. How old are you can I ask? Do you meet eligibility requirements for specific types of support eg young mum/cultural background? Otherwise are there other mental health facilities you can access? Do you use outpatient services since you were discharged? Sorry for all the questions! It's always infuriating to me how little support is available for mental health still!
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