I grew up in a household where I felt loved and secure. My parents had quite an authoritarian approach (actually maybe I'm calling it by the wrong name reading this thread!) where we did as we were asked, but that didn't mean that we weren't loved and nutured.
I agree, that there is a time for tough love and a time for a softly softly approach. The tricky part is being wise enough to know when for each one!
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03-08-2012 18:31 #21Senior Member
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03-08-2012 19:01 #22
03-08-2012 19:09 #23
I'm mostly a mix somewhere in the middle.
But ultimately, it comes down to the individual child, their age, their personalities, what the situation is, my mood for the day and what I want to achieve.
Some times, I am very softly-softly, to the point where to others it may seem like i'm being walked over by my child, but sometimes, it is the approach I *need* to take (particularly with DS1 and DS2 when they are tired) otherwise all hell will break loose when it doesn't need to.
Some times, i'm very tough-love, to the point where others may think i'm a horridly nasty parent, but when DD is one of her "moods" (y'know, 5 going on 15...) sometimes she really just needs to be told, in no uncertain terms what the deal is, or she *does* try it on with you (definitely her mothers daughter!!).
But yes, mostly i'm in the middle, loving, respectful and attentive, but with boundaries in place.
03-08-2012 19:34 #24-
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- Feb 2010
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03-08-2012 20:49 #25
I'm softly softly :-) However this doesn't mean my kids never get told no , or that I don't have boundaries , they have plenty :-) and they get told no many many a time .
And I may pick and choose my battles but the ones I choose I ensure I follow through with.
I'm conscious everyday of trying to raise my children to understand they can't have everything and that there are rules and boundaries re- certain things but I can't change my heart or who I am , I'm a softie !
That said my kids are 1.5 and 2.5. My parenting and approach will probably change a million times as they grow .
03-08-2012 20:49 #26
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