Obey while she is under my roof it's my rules.
With that said I'm a fair person.
I only want the best for for my kids.
They do have choice in some areas like what they want on their sandwich...lol.
View Poll Results: Would you prefer that your child obey you?
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Disobey based on childs own judgement
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03-08-2012 09:56 #21
03-08-2012 10:12 #22
In general, I want them to learn to obey.
But it does depend on their cognitive ability. If they have the skills required to make a judgement on something and make the decision for themselves then I would probably ask them what they think they should do.
Young children in general do not have the ability to judge the consequences of their actions.
03-08-2012 10:12 #23-
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
At the ages my kids are they are to obey me. However they know that if they don't like something I ask them to do they can ask me why as long as they speak to me nicely. I have told my kids it is my job to raise them to be well respected adults and that I always have a reason so if they don't like the request, or they don't understand why they have to do it then they can ask to learn more.
The older they get the more choices they get but at certain times in life you just have to obey and do what is asked of you...and then you just need the smarts to know when it is okay to obey someone and when to recognise that their requests are unreasonable and not worth following.
03-08-2012 10:15 #24
Um. I want them to respect me enough to want to listen to me. None of this obey/disobey stuff.
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03-08-2012 10:19 #25
See I don't want blind obedience, I want my children to question what I'm saying so then they know why they're doing what they're doing. Does that make sense?
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03-08-2012 10:42 #26
No, it doesn't make sense. Well it doesn't make sense to me. As a parent, I have the wisdom, I have the life experience and I call the shots because I have the responsibility to ensure that my child is taught appropriate life skills that will serve him well when I am no longer around.
Naturally there is leeway for discussion when the occasion arises but I'm referring directly to the question posed by the OP.
Being dictated to by a child? Not in my house
03-08-2012 10:45 #27
I marked disobey, because I realised over the weekend I am an overbearing pita. My daughter needs way more freedom than I give her.
03-08-2012 10:47 #28
03-08-2012 10:58 #29
We are fairly free-range, attachment parents (no the two styles are not synonymous or mutually exclusive) Because of our attachment founding, I believe my kids are able to make wise decisions based on the modelling and talk that they have experienced throughout their lives as part of our family.
So I pretty much discuss with them what their plans are and how they are going about fulfilling them. Discussions about making plans, working out how to do something safely, being cautious but not fearful, being fully prepared and thinking about consequences are regular occurrences in our house. So I'm fairly confident in their ability to make choices.
HOWEVER, because they DO have so much freedom, when I ask them to do something, I absolutely expect it to be obeyed. And I will explicitly say "I've asked you to do .......... I expect you to be obedient."
I am still the parent, and have the Veto.
03-08-2012 10:58 #30-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
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