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  1. #1
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    Default Lesbian mums, what do you do on Father's Day?

    We go to a big family gathering at DP's dad's house (my folks live overseas). When there's card making etc at playgroup, DS makes a card for his Pappa.

    He's only 2.5yo, but he knows he doesn't have a daddy. He tells me "Naomi/Ed/etc (insert friend's name) mummy daddy, DS mummy ima".

    I am happy he has a few great men in his life as role models and people he can celebrate father's day with.

    I'm interested how other gay mums do (or don't do) Father's day.

  2. #2
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    We don't have children yet, but are TTC... and we have discussed the fathers day issue.
    My sister has 2 girls who don't have a father, so they have Grandfathers Day. I think it is a nice way to appreciate the male role models in their lives, so we plan to have Grandfathers Day. Only problem now will be, which of the grandfathers to visit on the day! I propose an alternating roster, on the opposite schedule to Christmas, so lets see how that goes!

  3. #3
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    As the wife of a sperm donor for lesbian couples we have never had a card on fathers day or call etc which is ok but we are friends with all recipients and not once have any of them given my hubby say, a bottle of wine or thank you token. Its like they forget that they approached us for sperm. Dont get me wrong they are all great friends and wonderful mums its just that a thank you card or something wouldnt have gone astray.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pisces00 View Post
    As the wife of a sperm donor for lesbian couples we have never had a card on fathers day or call etc which is ok but we are friends with all recipients and not once have any of them given my hubby say, a bottle of wine or thank you token. Its like they forget that they approached us for sperm. Dont get me wrong they are all great friends and wonderful mums its just that a thank you card or something wouldnt have gone astray.
    I'm intrigued by this, if you don't mind me asking...? Was there an arrangement that your hubby would play a role in the children's lives or is he anonymous to the child?
    Last edited by babyla; 25-08-2012 at 06:58. Reason: spelling

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    I'm intrigued too Pisces - would you want a card or token on Mothers Day too?

    Jake's Mum - although I'm not a lesbian couple I'd just handle it like other kids who don't have fathers. Give it to the Grandfather etc

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    we did sign an agreement for formal reasons but we are all very good friends like i said. I think i just mean that my hubby gave them a gift alturistically and maybe not expecting a fathers day card but just a thank you card when they were born would have been nice. I myself get sms's on mothers day from my recipients. We are both quick to point out that we just want to help and we are not the parents of the kids. i think i should have read your post properly first, sorry i have been at work since 2am and only quickly read the title! Sorry.
    That being said these women are ammmmazing mothers.

  7. #7
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Default Lesbian mums, what do you do on Father's Day?

    They most likely don't consider him their father, but their donor.

    Coming from the other side, the fear you feel knowing any minute someone could decide they want to start playing dad is very real.

    I don't blame them for not wanting to give anything that implies your husband is anything other than a donor. I'm sure they appreciate the gift he gave them, but if they're raising their child in a family with two mothers and no father, it's going to confuse the child if they have to write a card for someone called dad!

    We will be celebrating "grandfather's day" and will spend it with our families. Our nephew's father is not n the picture so we will spend the day with them.

  8. #8
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Default Lesbian mums, what do you do on Father's Day?

    Just wanted to add, I think it's a wonderful thing you and your husband do

  9. #9
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    Default Lesbian mums, what do you do on Father's Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by pisces00 View Post
    As the wife of a sperm donor for lesbian couples we have never had a card on fathers day or call etc which is ok but we are friends with all recipients and not once have any of them given my hubby say, a bottle of wine or thank you token. Its like they forget that they approached us for sperm. Dont get me wrong they are all great friends and wonderful mums its just that a thank you card or something wouldnt have gone astray.
    Would you want a card? I don't think our donor or his wife would...

    To me that's like suggesting that our donor is somewhat father-like which we all agreed he is not. I think they might get freaked out if we sent him a card! He's got his own family and he's own kid, we're not close friends and he sees they boys about twice a year - there's nothing father like about him or his role. It would seem really inappropriate to me to get him a father's day card :-/

    We did however said to him many times how amazing his gift was and that we would never be able to thank him enough, and gave them as a small token of our appreciation a voucher for a romantic dinner in a nice restaurant.

  10. #10
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    Default Lesbian mums, what do you do on Father's Day?

    Not a lesbian but a great believer in allowing kids to express themselves when I wasnt available for mother's day my mum stood in. I'm sure if DD dad wasn't available two doting grandfathers would have stood up.

    I'm curious on mother's day do you both attend?


 

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