This post contains information about child sexual abuse and a mothers potential (partial) responsibility. Please do not read on if this is a topic that may upset you.
Did anyone watch today's episode of Dr Phil? There was a mother and her daughter on. The daughter (and her siblings) had all been raped by their step father. For the eldest daughter the abuse started when she was 5 shortly after her stepdad marrying her mum. The abuse ended when the eldest was 13 and told her mum.
Dr Phil asked if, in retrospect, the mother saw any warning signs. She said no: there was no blood, she aw no marks on the kids, didnt hear any crying etc.
Dr Phil then asked about the stepdad admitting to the mother before they married that he had molested a young girl at an earlier time. "but", says the mother, "it was when he was younger and he said he would never harm my girls."
Wtf? Does anyone else think this mother should get a big punch in the head (or worse) for putting her kids in harms way? I'm surprised that Dr Phil didn't call her out. Well actually I'm not that surprised since he is a professional and probably didn't want to make a scene in front of the daughter.
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01-08-2012 15:10 #1-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
*sensitive* Dr Phil child abuse episode
01-08-2012 15:14 #2
Yep I saw it and had to turn it off but I saw the bit you are referring to. It was very, very sad and I think she is also a victim. I think sometimes people are in denial and miss things that are happening, when they are very lonely and have felt very unloved for a long time. I think this woman also had massive issues herself and was also a victim of this predator. In saying that I am still incredulous that it could go on that long.
01-08-2012 15:14 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
Yuck. There is no way I'd let someone like him near my children. It's my job to protect DS with my life.
01-08-2012 15:15 #4
I watched it and it made be so fecking angry.
I just cannot understand how the mother saw no signs what so ever, especially knowing that he had a sexual abuser history. He must have been such a master manipulator.
Those poor, poor girls.
01-08-2012 15:17 #5
I'm glad I didn't watch it!!
01-08-2012 15:21 #6
01-08-2012 15:24 #7
I don't understand why anyone would let someone with that history into their life and their children's lives.
I hope she feels guilty as hell because I think she is just as responsible as he is.
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01-08-2012 17:55 #8Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
I watched it too and couldn't quite believe that her husband was doing stuff to those girls every day, and she had no idea anything was going on? For 8 years?
01-08-2012 18:05 #9
Yep she is hugely responsible given she knew about his past! WTF was she thinking even being wiht a molesterer?!?!?!
I do find it a bit of a tricky thing though, when the parent doesn't know. I was physically and s3xually abused. Dad probably didn't know, but the fact that he didn't know was partially because he wasn't engaged/invested in knowing us/keeping us safe but it was also that some of it was very well hidden.
It's an unusual situation to be in here - where you work through things and accept that your parent did fail you but also accepting that perhaps its wasn't completely there found. At the end of hte day, the key for me (and probably anyoe else in that situation) is not so blaming anyone in particular, but to stop blaming yourself and see the situation for what it really was.
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01-08-2012 18:53 #10
That's so awful, I'm glad I didn't see it.
My uncle was convicted of something like that, and there is no way I will allow him in my life, let alone my child's. Other family members don't seem to care though - they leave their kids with him, etc. I don't get it?!
My grandmother was married to a man who was convicted for raping and murdering two young girls back in the 70s ish. She had to have known, and yet she stayed with him. He is dead now but I avoid her because I think she is almost as bad for allowing it to happen.
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