Don't let him bully you into letting his family take your son for the weekend.
He is your son you decide... I would pack up your stuff and head back to where you know you will get support...
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31-07-2012 21:05 #11
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31-07-2012 21:19 #12
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He is trying to manipulate you into removing his responsibility,
If you want to keep your baby then do it.
My dad was around 20 when he settled down with my 30 year old mum ... and her 5 kids so 2 wont make a man who is worth your time run.
I would be getting mediation and parenting plans in place asap if i were you.
*hugs*
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31-07-2012 21:28 #13
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huge hugs.
I have some words for you to say when he starts to boss you around
"HOW DARE YOU...how dare you tell me to kill our baby and how dare you, after treating me so poorly, pretend that you get to TELL me what to do with our little boy. YOU LOST ALL RIGHT to boss me around when you ended this relationship. YOU move out to your families house and I will let you know when you can visit/take your son out. Now, get out!"
YOU are a mother, you are a strong and wonderful woman. NO ONE should dare treat you that way...don't let him, he sounds like a moron. Embrace the grief...and use it to get angry at him for being such an idiot. Find some people (us) to cheer you on and be your soft place to fall.
Sorry, i have ranted...but this sort of rubbish hits close to home for me. You (as a human being) deserve so much better and so do your kids.
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31-07-2012 21:38 #14
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31-07-2012 22:13 #15
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Be careful. He can take you to court and prevent you from moving interstate, back to NSW. THIS is one of the reasons I decided at the last moment, to not put my son's father on the birth certificate.
I'm not sure how switched on he and his family is, but I would be careful with mentioning moving back to NSW until you have everything sorted out and can leave straight after you have told him.
Though even then he can get an order for you to move back.
On the other hand, the knife cuts both ways. If he wants to be involved, the court can decide that he moves to NSW instead.
As for being man repellent with 2 kids..... I don't think the amount of kids has anything to do with it. It is about how you present yourself. If you're a happy laid back woman and have a positive attitude towards life, you'll surely find someone again. Especially when men can see what a wonderful mum you are to your kids. They might think you would be a fantastic mother for their kids too.
Just take some time to heal and to spend with your newborn child before trying to find a new man. I was 9 weeks pregnant with DS when I broke up with my ex. I too thought that having a child would make me less attractive, but it's not true. I have had plenty of interest, but I have been too busy with taking care of DS for the first 2 years, to actually act on that interest.
Good luck hun. Your ex sounds like a real teenager. Needs to drink a glass of cement and harden the f&ck up. It takes 2 to tango. He was there when your children were conceived. He should have thought about giving up his carefree life, before conceiving children with you.
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31-07-2012 22:16 #16
Hugs. I hope you can find the strength to do what you need to
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01-08-2012 10:08 #17
It's f***wits like him that give the rest of us a bad name. Could quite happily see a**holes like that go drown themselves. Immature little pr**k.
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01-08-2012 10:14 #18
Oh honey, what an awful time for you.
I couldn't believe what I was reading.. he told you to abort your 2nd trimester baby??? Oh hon.. this is not a man you want to be with. What a horrible person.
Pack your things and go home to your family, before it's too late. A previous poster is right, if he wants to be an ***, he can go to court and prevent you from moving home. Do it now, set up your roots at home with your family and friends with both babies.
You don't need him, and you WILL find someone who will love ALL THREE of you and be a man and look after you.
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01-08-2012 11:57 #19
Man repellent? I'd be saying "Actually, they're BOY repellent, so off you run you cowardly little infant!".
I can't believe that.
I second keeping mum about moving. At least that way you aren't going against the courts. I'd also do it asap if you're going to. The longer you leave it, the more opportunity he has to prevent it.
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01-08-2012 12:08 #20
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I'm worried about your situation. You sound like you will be isolated considering you moved there to be with him.
I'm not sure on the legalities of you moving with the children away from him. Morally I think you should be able to go home to be with your support network but I'm not sure what the Family Court would have to say. Hopefully someone can help.
I'm so sorry he has done this to you. I'm angry for you. He's asked you to move to another State, away from your family and friends, and a mere few months later has decided he wants to act like a silly teenager.
Say no to his mum and sister having your baby over the weekend. Let them see bub at a time convenient to you as well, not just because he told you so.
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