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  1. #1
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    So... It's a long drawn out story but basically my fiancé of 3 years to whom I have a beautiful 1 year old and am in the 2nd trimester of our second has decided he doesn't want to be with me any more. No warning, no discussion and no effort. To make it worse we moved to SA from NSW in January for his work. He has family here, I don't have anyone. He goes on about how he's young and hasn't lived his life etc. yeah he's nearly 23 but plenty of people have kids younger and don't run away from their responsibilities. It feels like he just wants to party and the have a day or two every couple of weeks to have fun with bub but that's not being a father at all. I don't get to party and I don't care cos I love my family.
    He says he's going to be there for us in any way we need but we're still in the same house atm and he just takes himself out and leaves us here alone even though we have so much more to work out and I don't want to be alone right now. I still really love him and I feel like the world is ending.
    He's being really bossy and has said that his sister and mum are having the baby on the weekend even though I don't feel comfortable with it & don't think it's the right time for that.
    The worst thing is that he's told me to get rid of the baby. How could I possibly do that?! He says it's not just my decision so I've said either way I'm having it but he can choose to be it's Dad or not (he got super angry at that). He also says I'll be ruining my life if I have it. I already feel like I'm losing everything so I don't know how that could make it worse. Now all I can think is whether having the baby would ruin my chances of finding someone who loves us properly (if that makes sense??). I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't have it but like I said, does two babies make me man repellant?
    I guess I'm just after some objective advice, support and/or personal experience. I'm just so terrified of what's to come.

  2. #2
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    Firstly - hugs xxxx

    Secondly - two babies will NOT make u man repellant. A man that loves u truly will love u whether u have one child or ten!!

    I think your ex sounds like there's more to it. He's being nasty and controlling and u deserve so much better!!!!

    If u want your baby and were excited about the pregnancy then continue along and just lean on your family and friends for support

  3. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to SunshineMunky For This Useful Post:

    austmum  (31-07-2012),GuestMember  (31-07-2012),Izy  (16-08-2012),lovesushi  (31-07-2012),Rutabaga  (04-08-2012),Sarelou  (01-08-2012),~ElectricPink~  (31-07-2012)

  4. #3
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    2 babies most definitely do NOT make you man repellent! I feel so sorry for you, what a terrible situation to be in. I don't really have any advice, but I do have 2 children from 2 previous relationships and 2 children to my current dp (of 3.5yrs) and he loves me regardless of my family situation. In fact, my boys call him dad and he treats them exactly as he does the other 2

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to escapethefate For This Useful Post:

    Izy  (16-08-2012)

  6. #4
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    I didnt think you could get a termination after 12 weeks.... Your ex sounds like an A hole!!! Hugs!

  7. #5
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    No you will find someone....
    Who will love you and your children believe me it's his loss....
    Better to know now how he really feels ... This will make you stronger and it has now opened your eyes to what he is really like...
    This new baby will make you push forward and move on with your life
    It doesn't feel like that for you now but believe me it will soon....
    What state are you in ???
    PM me if you would like to chat... ....anytime....((((((HUGS))))))

  8. #6
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    All I can say is Huggles AND do not give your baby to them over the weekend. Also maybe go to a refuge until its all sorted which ever way it goes xxxxx

  9. #7
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    Thanks heaps everyone. We're in Adelaide at the moment. Just got back from being at home near Sydney for a week and am deciding when to go back permanently. Just weighing up my work situation.
    I really don't want them to have him but I feel completely powerless to stop it, which is ridiculous I know.

  10. #8
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    You need to be around your friends and family - is there any chance you can get your family or friends to come and stay with you? Or perhaps go back and visit them?
    Distance can give you clarity.
    At the moment you are surrounded by his wants, his needs, his family and his way. That makes it so much harder.

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by byronsmummy14 View Post
    Thanks heaps everyone. We're in Adelaide at the moment. Just got back from being at home near Sydney for a week and am deciding when to go back permanently. Just weighing up my work situation.
    I really don't want them to have him but I feel completely powerless to stop it, which is ridiculous I know.
    Just saw this - I think we must have posted at the same time!

    Get back up there I think! You are not powerless.

  12. #10
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    Go where u are supported


 

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