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  1. #1
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    Question Complicated Birthing situation

    ok so this is not exactly about birth but its a concern i have that revolves around birth

    Mods please move this if you please

    my EDD is 8/12 and my mother is flying up to be there for me, the only problem is im worried about how she will interact with my father (they havent seen each other in 24 years) and how she will deal with my step mum (they have never met) my step mum wants to be close by as she is like a mum to me. i just dont wanna have to mediate between them while im in labour and i dont wanna exclude any one. Dad will obviously not be present till after bubbby is born.
    Both have obviously re married and gone separate ways (they didnt meet at my wedding coz mum wasnt invited due to issues i had with her).

    Im anxious about this more then anything else and im the one giving birth.

    can anyone offer any advice, maybe something i could say to them or a way to organise so mum and dad dont see each other.

    TIA

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    I'd speak to all of them separately and explain that I won't be able to mediate and that I expected they'd all act like adults and be civil as the birth and new baby are the most important things.
    Are you wanting both mum and step mum at the birth? It might be hard to do that if they don't know each other. It might be better to pick one or neither instead of trying to force an intimate relationship iykwim?

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    i originally asked my step mum to be there with me coz i didnt think mum could make it as she has a 5 & 6 year old to look after but this week she said shes coming, and im worried about hurting my step mums feelings

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    Honestly, I'd have neither at the birth. Is your DH going to be there? If so, I'd just have him and get everyone else to visit after bub has arrived and you've had time to soak up your newborn. You don't need to deal with any stressful family stuff at that time.

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    BlueRose1  (31-07-2012),HugsBunny  (31-07-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    Honestly, I'd have neither at the birth. Is your DH going to be there? If so, I'd just have him and get everyone else to visit after bub has arrived and you've had time to soak up your newborn. You don't need to deal with any stressful family stuff at that time.
    I agree!

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    Do you have any reason to think there will be issues? 24 years is a long time to hopefully get over any hurts and move on. If you think there could be, then yes. Just tell them you expect them to put it aside and focus on you and their grandchild.

    As for the labour room, I think you either need to have neither or do rotating shifts so they can both be there but not at the same time and who ever is there at the end leaves before bubs comes out. Then there is no perceived favourtism for someone to be upset about.

    Good luck!

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