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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Secondary infertility frustration....

    So it's all just started to hit me....and boy do I feel like a failure

    I have one child, and found out 4 years ago that due to tubal issues (one was removed, other blocked) that my only option for more children would be through IVF.

    It wasn't so much of a concern then. I was young and single, having more children wasn't really on my mind, it wasn't the right time.

    Fast forward to now...I am in a committed relationship, and we both want to have a child together. We are both ready, and both admit to feeling extremely clucky. We're not "actively" trying right now, as that would require going down the IVF path....but still, the last couple of times that I have gotten my periods I have felt an overwhelming sadness, and disappointment, a "why me???" kind of feeling. I just yearn for that miracle to happen.

    I know that all hope is not lost, there is still the option of IVF....but I feel so sad that we can't conceive the natural way. And then I have people saying "Well, be grateful that you're lucky enough to have one child!". Of course I'm grateful, but I really really wish we could give him a sibling, without all the medical intervention and expenses. I see so many of my friends with kids DS's age expanding their families, and whilst I am so happy for them, it also makes me feel sad that it's not that easy for us.

    Is anyone else going through something similar?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    I'm sort of going through something similar, but not really. My husband and I have a 4 year old and have tried on and off for 2 years, unsuccessfully, to have another, while everyone around me (almost quite literally) is having 2nd and 3rd babies, some without even trying.

    It's not fair for people to think that you should be happy with your one. I am sure you are, as am I, but it doesn't fill that void, that feeling that there is so much more love to give, to grow your family. That is a natural yearning. I had a friend given 2% chance of conceiving naturally, and she and her husband have 2 beautiful children with NO intervention (and very little trying). I have everything crossed for you that they were wrong years ago and you get your miracle.

    As for the people with their opinions and comments, try to let it wash right off your back. I know how very hard that is, but they're not trying to be mean, I think they really just don't get it.


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