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  1. #1
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    Default Hyphenated names for kids after separation

    My ex and I split over a year ago and he has very little to do with the kids. He lives interstate andh has only met DD once in her life. He hasnt seen either child for 9 months now despite me offerong to pay half his airfare over and he has only managed to skype them 9 times in over a year. As a result I want to change the kids surname to mine so they feel like they belong to my family here (which is quite large and all share the same surname). He is refusing but has agreed to hyphenate. I had really wanted to avoid it as I think hyphenated names are confusing but it might be my only chance. Question being - for those with hyphenated names or kids with hyphenated names would it be better to put my name first or second? and also does that allow to me enrol them at school/medicare/bank etc with just my name or do i have to use both? Thanks!

  2. #2
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    I have no idea what would be best, but will bump for you because I'm sure someone has some experience with hyphenated names.

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    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

  4. #3
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    DD1 has a hyphernated surname.
    For us the order was decided because it just sounded better one way round than the other.
    If the courts have to make a ruling on the decision they go with alphabetical order.

    I use her full name for all things official as i figure thats the right thing to do esp things where i have to provide a birth certificate.
    For other activities like swimming and ballet she's just enrolled with just my part of the surname.

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    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

  6. #4
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    My brother and i are children of a relationship similar to yours. We have our fathers surname, my mum tried the hyphenated name, I hated it. Things get messy, you constantly have to explain yourself. Even though I have no relationship with my father, it doesn't bother me at all, and never has, that I have his name.

    I'm sure whatever you decide it will be in the best interest of your children.

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    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

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    My DS has a hyphenated surname, Mine first then his fathers. For school, Medicare etc he has to go by both but for some things I just put mine down. Kinda annoys me though that for anything official they shorten it to just the last name (his fathers).

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    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

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    Hi!
    I'm in the middle of legal proceedings to change DS's name for a lot of similar reasons to you. I've copied a response that I made last week to someone who wanted to change their child's name to their own. Thought it might be interesting??
    I think you should start a journal stating the EXACT relationship and contact..

    This was my response -
    You are able to call your child by her "new" hyphenated name as you wish but if your ex finds out and is not happy he can apply to the courts to stop you from doing this. A child's name is NOT allowed to be changed without both parents on the birth certificates signatures.
    Your daughter can use her hyphenate name but you will still have to enrol her in EVERYTHING (school, medicare, doctor etc, flights etc) as her birth name.
    If you are 100% convinced that it is HER best interests to have her name altered then you must first attempt mediation with your ex. You should also gather evidence to support your case, which can then be used later on in court if an agreement is unable to be made during mediation.
    You really should get a psychological report done by a qualified psychologist who can support that it is in fact in the best interest of the child. The psychologist should see the child on numerous occasions.
    You should also get letters from teachers, doctors etc to also state that they believe it is in the best interest of the child.
    You also have to write an affidavit supporting why you think it should be changed. This should include the fact that you support her relationship with her father.
    The minute a judge gets a sniff of malice or ill intent you will be thrown out. People try and do this all the time so you need to have a water tight case to present.
    If you can afford a lawyer I would strongly recommend it, it's not an easy process.
    If you are unable to do any of this I wouldn't bother to be honest.

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    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)


 

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