My mum was that daughter and i was the baby, i am so greatfull to my grandparents for standing by my mum, my dad for staying with my mum and my mum for keeping me.
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29-07-2012 16:32 #71
29-07-2012 16:32 #72
29-07-2012 16:32 #73wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- Under Your Bed
Support any choice she made. I would encourage her to study or work. But wouldn't push till she was ready. My dad was 20 when e had me (close to 18 an males arnt as mature lol) his parents, my grandparents told my mum to abort me. She told the to "get f if they don't want anything to do with the baby get out the car now an you will never see us again". They stayed in the car.
29-07-2012 16:42 #74Senior Member
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- Dec 2008
If someone WANTS to be a stay at home mum forever, that's cool. But for me, and my own child, I would be saying that they need to look at the big picture. Surviving off welfare long term is near impossible. Surviving on a min wage job is HARD. If you have a husband who can support you, that's fantastic.. but not all marriages last forever. What happens if in ten years you find he leaves you.. what happens if he passes away?
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29-07-2012 16:50 #75
29-07-2012 16:54 #76
Also, 18 is an adult....cant force an adult to go to work or study. Can make rules for while that 18yr old is living under your roof, which is totally understandable, but you couldnt say to your 18yr old "omg your pregnant! Well I give you 6-12 months to raise the child then you HAVE to go get a job or study" ...well, *I* couldnt. I know how 18yr old me would have reacted to that ultimatum.
29-07-2012 17:07 #77
(Hence my I really wouldn't want to be raising the baby myself... though I would if my child was incapable. But I really hope I raise children who are adults at 18)
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29-07-2012 17:08 #78
Well 18 is legally an adult so i would not be treating my 18 year old adult daughter as a child and telling her what she can and can't do. I am 31- my mum babysits for me when i want to go out partying, I can't see how it's different to an 18 year old. I would treat it the same as if she were any age and pregnant- I would be over the moon and happy to support her, but also ready to step in if I believed she was not caring for her kid properly. 18 just means they're less likely to be set up in a career or financially, which would mean more support from us. I don't see any other way that it would make any difference. I know quite a few young mums- many of them far more mature and settled than me!
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29-07-2012 17:17 #79
I fell pregnant at 17. Told my parents and they told me all the negatives and I took that as disapproval.
I kept the baby and didn't speak to my parents for 7 months. My mum called 2 days after ds was born and asked if they could come and see us and have been great ever since.
If your daughter is pregnant I suggest you tread very carefully and talk openly about it.
I went through a lot while pregnant, and I did it alone because I thought they didn't care when they actually dif
29-07-2012 17:21 #80
Ditto London. I'm only 21 now and if my parents put that much pressure on me, they would have seen the back of me damn fast. I moved out of home and into my own rental when I was 16 years old, I was on welfare and still going to school and had a little job on the side.
And rosengold... I completely agree with you too. Spot on! Not all young people are hopeless and incapable of making good choices with their lives.
An 18 year old is an adult and able to make their own decisions (clearly, since she would hypothetically be committing to a child). I don't think they'd be less likely to study at all. I think they'd be more likely to go back and study because they would still be young.
I would have faith in the way that I raised my daughter! Why would she become a dole bludger if you raised her right in the first place with a decent set of beliefs?? Me and my partner will be role models for them, not dictators. None of this "do as I say" crap.
I don't want to control my kids. I want to respect them and have faith in them to make the right choices and live their lives the way it makes sense to them. Sure, I want them to have aspirations, but I don't want to be an overbearing mother.
Unconditional love and support. No matter what. And on that note, I'm done here.
Last edited by LollyLu; 29-07-2012 at 17:30.
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