If it was myself in your situation and was happy about the pregnancy itself, issues with the guy aside and I was able to support the baby as it sounds like you are as you were planning to have a baby anyway earlier on then I would keep my baby especially considering your fertility problems and age. Even if he is not around you will always have the love of your child and he will be the one missing out - do what you truly feel in your heart and only you - don't terminate bub based on what someone else wants.
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28-07-2012 19:45 #41
28-07-2012 20:37 #42Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
I agree with what most PP have said. I don't think anyone is ever 100% prepared for the life changes that come with your first child, but if he can't cope with the responsibility at 37 then I doubt he ever will.
Your fertility window is narrow and this baby is a little miracle. It sounds like your mind is made up already, be strong in your decision and leave it up to him. If he walks away the loss is all his. Good luck with your pregnancy!
Btw I'm also 7 weeks preg with #2, so we'll be due around the same dates
28-07-2012 21:08 #43-
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I only just saw this. I was in a similar situation. I have had chemotherapy and was told I was sterile and I could not fall pregnant the normal way. Not without an egg donor.
Even though we knew all this, my ex fiance and I tried for 2 years and nothing happened. It ruined our entire relationship and we ended up going separate ways.
Then I found my son's father. He wanted me to stop the pill as it was making me feral. He reckoned that the fact that my ex fiance and I could not fall pregnant, was the evidence of me being sterile.
Well, it only took me 3 weeks after I stopped the pill when I fell pregnant.
It was a HUGE shock. He already had 3 kids and our first response was "abortion". Then we both got used to the idea of having a child together and we got slightly more enthusiastic.
Unfortunately, at 9 weeks, he turned around and physically abused me and put me into hospital. He was yelling at me how he hated these children, how he wanted nothing to do with them and how he hoped he had killed them.
I was having twins, but after that night, I was having just the 1 child Looking back now, I believe it was Gods way of intervening as there is no way I could ever take care of 2 kids on my own.
I then had that very hard decision to make. Should I continue on my own or not. Could I be a sole parent? Not a single parent, but a sole parent?
Could I handle it financially, emotionally, physically, etc.
Would it be fair on bubs to not have a male figure around? Was it fair for bubs to not have a father by choice?
I decided to keep the baby because of several reasons. My main reason was "What if I only just had that 1 fertile egg left? If I terminate and I want to try later in life, I might end up not being able to fall pregnant anymore."
My best friend, who is a very strict Christian by the way, said that she remembered how heartbroken I was when I heard that I was sterile. She then convinced me to keep bubs as she believes that God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle.
Now, 3 years later, I believe this as well.
To make a long story short, go with your gut. Think about the things I did. Like are you able to mentally and physically take care of a newborn, terrible 2yo and rebellious teenager, all by yourself?
Can you afford a child on your own, financially? Do you have support around you like family and friends? Do you think it would matter to the child whether or not it has a father present?
I can tell you that doing it on your own is not easy. Breastfeeding at all hours of the day, still doing all the cleaning, shopping, paying the bills, etc all on your own, is mentally exhausting. BUT it is worth it in the end.
Your maternal instinct will kick in and will make sure you will find ways to cope. You will find that you're much stronger than you think you are, if you end up having to go solo.
On the other hand, I hope he will turn around as the pregnancy progresses. Get him to go to a scan with you. He might be in awe (like I was anyway lol) by seeing this teeny tiny little human he created and become more positive towards it all. Maybe even when holding his newborn child for the first time, will take any doubts away from him.
28-07-2012 21:10 #44
he might be stressed out. tell him that you want to keep the baby. if he still refuses. He might not be interested in having a family with you. If i was in your place, i wuld keep the baby.
29-07-2012 11:06 #45Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Hi, I'm in the same situation I was on/off with a guy for 6 months and fell pregnant he told me to abort but I decided not to. I'm now 24 weeks, just turned 30 and preparing to raise a baby on my own. Each kick I feel from my little boy makes me realize how lucky I am. In the end it's your choice but don't let him influence your outcome...
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