You clearly want a baby so if i were you id keep it. Why not just say to him, you've decided to keep the bub and he can be as involved (or uninvolved) as he wants.
Explain your not going to be asking for child support (unless of course he wants to) and your happy to raise the baby alone (if you are of course).
It sound to me like hes just scared. Who knows once he sees the baby (if he wants to) he may feel different.
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28-07-2012 10:15 #11Senior Member
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- Oct 2010
28-07-2012 10:19 #12
Honestly, If I was in your position, I would keep the baby, and if your boyfriend can't deal, then he will do what is right for him.
If you don't have this baby and then in a rear he says he needs another year, that puts you at 43. You have your dream of becoming a mum in your grasp now, and there are no guarantees your bf will still be around either way.
Good luck, do what is right for you.
28-07-2012 10:22 #13
Tell him to go jump, keep your baby. You may never have this chance again.
You can do this without him, you'll be fine. Good luck.
28-07-2012 10:23 #14
Please don't terminate this baby if there is even an inkling of doubt on your behalf.
It is YOUR choice, and only yours. Honestly, if this man isn't ready at 37 then the chances he will be ready at 39 are slim.
Last edited by MissPoss; 08-08-2012 at 10:18. Reason: removing personal information
28-07-2012 10:47 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I have absolutely no doubt at all that if I were in your position I would be keeping that baby! This could be your only chance and IMO this baby is in your belly for a reason after everything you've been through.
I would let this man know that you can't go through with a termination and wish him good luck in life but you are having this bub.
One year will make absolutely no difference. The only difference might be that there will be no conception in one year. You get plenty of warning before a baby comes I doubt there will be a huge difference between 9 months and 12 for him and his "complicated life"
28-07-2012 10:48 #16
You were going to have a baby without a partner. If he chooses to leave you because he's not ready yet, I don't see how it will be any different.
Sure, you'll be devastated that he left you, but you will still have a baby which is what you were planning for anyway.
I would be saying to him that should he choose to leave you and his baby, that he needs to be aware that there will be no chance at a reconciliation. He can't walk away now and then decide "Oh actually, maybe I AM ready". That's not fair on you.
If you choose to terminate, do it because that's what you feel is the best thing for you. Not the best thing for him, or the best thing for your relationship. Because that's who's going to have to live with it until the end of days. You.
I wish you all the best, it sounds like a nasty spot to be in .
28-07-2012 11:00 #17
Congratulations on the conception of your little miracle baby. Your time to be a mummy is now. It may not come again. You can do this by yourself - you were emotionally prepared to previously. I can't imagine the depth of your regret if you decide to terminate and then never fell pregnant again. Your time is now
28-07-2012 11:01 #18
So he wants a baby in a years time? Well he'll just get one a couple of months earlier! What's 12 months going to do?
If you want to keep the baby then you keep it. If he really didn't want kids then he should have used protection at all times. He has no right to tell you to terminate now.
Some blokes will never be 'ready' until they actually meet their baby so although he might be scared now that might all change as your pregnancy progresses and when bub is born.
I guess this is a fork in the road for you both now - but always put yourself and your needs first....don't terminate just for his sake or to keep the relationship going because who knows what the future holds.
It's a tough position to be in but it's your body and your life, it's not up to him. If you want to keep the pregnancy going and fulfil your dream
of being a mother then you do it!
Best of luck xx
28-07-2012 11:03 #19
you need to make the decision yourself and not for him. Whos to say in a years time you will be able to even get pregnant..by the sounds of it this baby is a miracle and if you want to keep it then do so..you were obviously prepared to have a baby on your own a year ago so I am sure you can do it know. Maybe he is scared but in the end is anyone truly completely ready for motherhood/fatherhood. question is how would you feel if you aborted and then were not able to concieve again in the future? Only you can make this decision so wish you the best of luck.
28-07-2012 11:04 #20
All I can say is that I I were in your shoes, I'd personally keep the baby!!
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