I have always done all the feeds because none have had bottles, I generally do baths and make dinners. DH does brekky for the kids because apparantly he makes a better bowl of cereal than me (according to the kids!) I don't mind haha. He does the morning bus run. Um, most of the housework naturally goes to me when I am not working....but he doesn't hesitate to just do something if need be. I don't expect anything in particular we both just get in and do what needs doing. The months that I work we have a cleaner to lighten the load and the kids come to work with me.
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28-07-2012 06:25 #21
28-07-2012 09:30 #22
I think when the partner is at home it should be 50/50, assuming the person at home is working hard, either looking after demanding children/babies or doing housework, cooking, etc.
The way it works for us currently is DH does all the bath, bedtime and night wakes plus gets up early one morning a week. I do all the other mornings, all the housework and all the cooking. It used to be we shared the night wakes, shared the early mornings, and attempted to share the housework I couldn't do during the day but it was constant arguing. We're really happy with the current arrangement.
P.S. I've been told I'm a terrible wife for making DH get up at night when he has work to do the next day. He often stays up till 2am on work nights anyway, so it's not like he's so tired he's collapsing in bed at 8pm. He handles sleep deprivation better than I do. When the newborn comes, I'll get up for all the breast feeds, no issue, but if sleep deprivation gets as extreme as it was then yes of course he can share the load.
28-07-2012 12:11 #23
love this. i would absolutely prefer hubby to be playing or cuddling with the baby, riding motorbikes or making something in the shed with our son.
i have few memories of my dad doing that (he was on the oil rigs) and when he was home, was always busy doing outside chores etc.
i think it's special to have memories of bonding.
28-07-2012 12:20 #24has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
If DH is working in the morning he doesn't get up at night, unless i am sick, the kids are sick or i'm absolutely exhausted and need help. I am fine with this as DH's job could literally kill him and others if he is not focused.
He does get up at night when he doesn't have work and he does things after work like by putting the kids to bed, which is a huge help to me.
28-07-2012 12:22 #25
I do everything at night because dd is breastfed, but if I ask him to he'll change her or whatever. I prefer him to sleep because he goes off to work & when he gets home he takes dd for an hour or two so I can nap.
28-07-2012 12:28 #26
Hubby fifos on a 2:2 roster when he is home we work 50:50 we think thats fair. We both co sleep so there is no night time parenting really, the other day DD was awake in the middle of the night as her naps where off from being sick so I got up with her only because we know she will more than likely need boob and knowing hubby would be home to get up with the boys in the morning so we/I could sleep in made it easy, one of the bonuses of the FIFO lifestyle!
28-07-2012 12:55 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
28-07-2012 13:30 #28
DH is about to start work again but has been a SAHD for the last year while I work full time.
He did most of the general stuff throughout the week, make dinner, keep the kid happy, general tidy up (not always every good, but he tried lol) and laundry.
On the weekends, I'd vaccume and mop the floors, tidy everything the way I like it (read: ocd styles) and take over child duties for the two days.
Now that he's going back to work I've slowly started taking on more home tasks like cooking dinner occasionally, cleaning more often etc. and soon we'll be doing equal shares although I expect I'll be doing a little more as I don't have to travel 2 hours on public transport a day and he will be.
28-07-2012 13:49 #29
I do everything at home, except mow the lawn. When the kids were babies, they were all breastfed and absolutely shocking sleepers, but DH had to be up at on his way to work by 5.30am so I didn't want him getting up even if he could.
He works 60-70+hrs a week, so when he is home I don't want him doing housework and what not, I would rather he spend some quality time with the kids and unwind.
28-07-2012 14:01 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
We didn't have night feeds for very long (4 weeks), but DH did the majority. He copes better than I do on less sleep, and was happy to do them - and he felt that it made no difference to how he felt in the morning.
Since about 4 weeks onwards (DD is now 2), the routine has been that DH's alarm goes at 6am. He goes and wakes DD, showers with her, dresses her and gives her milk. I get up once he's out of the shower, and when he leaves for work I take over looking after DD.
She goes to bed at 5pm, so is in bed before he gets home, and she'll sleep until we wake her the next day.
At weekends we take it in turns, so he will have a lie-in on Sat and I will get her up, and then Sundays are my lie-in days.
We have cleaners and gardeners, so neither of us do much of that, apart from bits here and there when it needs doing.
It works well for us. We see it that for the duration of his working day, my 'job' is to look after DD. One day a week DH has off work to spend with her, and that is his 'job' that day. Evenings and weekends we split it between us.
He wants to do the mornings with her, as he doesn't get to see her in the evenings.
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