So I'm FREAKING out today, as just found out last night I'm pregnant. Now of course this usually is exciting news, however my DS is only 10mths old, I've just returned to work this month, we weren't TTC & DH didn't react well either.
Has anyone else had experience with this? Will I get my paid mat leave again from my employer, or is it too soon? I'll be back only 6-7 mths.
I've called Centrelink this morning and I can't get the parental leave again because you need to be working 10mths before bubs birth. So if I don't get paid leave from employer either, we're seriously screwed. I honestly don't know if we could afford it so soon.
DS was conceived via IVF, as we have only a 5% chance of conceiving naturally. I have PCOS among other things, and haven't even had a cycle yet since DS was born! We should be over the moon since the chance of this happening was so remote - but because we aren't at the moment, I feel incredibly guilty
Please help! I'm also freaking out about there only being 18mths age difference too
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24-07-2012 10:15 #1
Unplanned pregnancy - please help!!
24-07-2012 10:20 #2
My goodness. I'm no help but just offering u big hugs. Getting preg so soon is my biggest fear so I can understand how u feel. Xo
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24-07-2012 10:26 #3
No experience but could you be eligible for the baby bonus instead? Perhaps speak to HR & find out what they can offer in terms of leave- you might get some pro rata.
Don't stress about the age gap- my elder sis & I are 18mths apart & despite a few spats as teens we are friends & got along fine as kids (once she got over me arriving that is lol)
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24-07-2012 12:03 #4
Congats, Take a deep breath, You will be able to get the baby bonus, i know it not as much as ppl but it something. As for the age gap, it really good gap, i know right now it may not feel that way but you will find that as they grow you will appreciate it more. I have two gaps that size and I love it they are so close.
Feel free to pm if you want to chat.
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24-07-2012 12:08 #5has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I am pregnant at the moment and the baby was very much unplanned. I also felt/feel freaked out and guilty that i am not overjoyed, i've cried a lot tears over it. My biggest issue has been the timing is absolutely awful, the worst. It's not a nice feeling
I am now nearly 12 weeks and i have somewhat settled into the idea of having another, i'm still scared, still nervous about how we will afford it etc but i'm coming to terms with it.
As for the age gap, my first 2 are 21 months apart and i have found it great, there are lots of advantages to a smaller gap and isn't as hard as i imagined it would be.
Best advice i have is to let yourself feel what you are feeling, it is okay to feel upset, it is a huge shock and takes time to come to terms with. You will be okay
24-07-2012 12:12 #6
I couldn't read and not reply
You will get the baby bonus still, I'd talk to your work and find out your options about leave.
24-07-2012 12:13 #7
Take a deep breath and relax This is absolutely amazing news!! Congratulations!!!
19 months between my babies, and the age gap is AMAZING! I wouldn't have it any other way. Dead serious. You will LOVE it!
You will be baby bonus, which is not a great deal less than PPL. Not sure if you're employer will pay you leave or not, but there are always options. Take your annual leave at half pay.. etc.
Totally understand why you're freaking out, but you will make it work! In no time you'll be so excited about this baby you'll be wondering what you were worried about.
24-07-2012 12:22 #8
What an amazing miracle with your low chances of natural conception! Congrats! Sit down do a budget with your husband and count the baby bonus and see if you can afford it. Do you get any other tax cuts with multiple children? I think it's a great age gap, there is 9 years between me and my bro and 13 between me and my sister. I would love to have closer siblings.
24-07-2012 14:49 #9
Thanks so much everyone for your kind support - this is why I needed BH up and running last night!!
Ok so I've checked out the baby bonus info - does anyone know if the combined income of $75k for 6mths is before or after tax? I'm pretty sure we would qualify for this but just need to check. Our problem is DH earns good money on paper, but we also have a lot of debt/commitments that they don't take in to consideration I believe.
I'm considering asking HR about the policy, even though I'm only 6-7wks (I think!). I won't relax or sleep properly until I know otherwise.
It's only the financial aspect that is holding back my joy. Of course once the shock subsides I'll be ecstatic to have fallen pregnant naturally - saves thousands on IVF! But I'm just very concerned that I'll be forced back to work much earlier than I would like
24-07-2012 15:18 #10
Congrats on falling pregnant naturally Does your work do maternity leave pay? If so then yes you are entitled to it. I went on maternity leave with DD2 fell preg 3months after she was born, never returned to work and still got paid maternity leave..
DD4 was my little pill baby I was in shock for the first 16weeks but now that she is here I wouldn't want it any other way..
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