She will also be the only girl on either side since me- I have 4 brothers, DP is an only child, DS is the first and only grandchild. So i can see why everyone's excited. Still, boys are better than stinky girls (joking...sort of)
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18-07-2012 17:48 #21
18-07-2012 18:06 #22
first of all lol at the first sentence.... I have a boy and two girls and I desperately wanted another boy for.my third, so I felt the same as you, she's nnow 6 days old and I wouldn't change her for the world!! I also understand you feeling like your boy gets left out, my boy does to And it breaks my heart, my family are always like aw DD is so cute, oh I could just take her home etc etc, I know they love DS too but it really hurts when they do it
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18-07-2012 18:26 #23-
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
I'm sorry you aren't getting the little boy you were hoping for
I have two girls and then a boy and when I was pregnant with my 2nd I didn't care either way but loved the idea of my oldest having a sister and wanted it to be a girl for her. Well, she was a girl and I was over the moon as were my family and my husband but some friends and acquaintances were 'disappointed' and told us that it was okay, we could try again. WTF? Honestly it was horrible and I think that no matter what gender the second child is people's reactions are likely to be upsetting.
When I found out my third was a boy people kept saying that we finally got a boy after our girls and just the way they carried on about it it was like our youngest daughter meant nothing. It sucked.
It does pass, and I hope that you get excited about having a little girl soon. Little boys are awesome, but so are little girls and I'm sure you'll love and enjoy her just as much as you love and enjoy your son!
18-07-2012 19:25 #24
27-07-2012 15:59 #25
I only just saw this!
How are you feeling now? *hugshugshugs*
27-07-2012 16:05 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
Hugs. I really hate people's reactions to gender. I used to hate how my friends made me feel like they were so lucky to have girls and I had a boy who I couldn't dress up like a little doll.
Truth is I always thought I'd have a boy and I wouldn't have swapped him for a girl even if I had the chance.
People are poo poos.
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27-07-2012 16:47 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
People don't think about how their reactions can upset you. I totally get how it would feel like a criticism of your DS if everyone was saying "Oh! NOW we can do XYZ!"
I kind of had that in reverse when I was pregnant recently, as I already have a DD and was hoping for a boy (I did/ do want the pigeon pair), and my mum kept talking about how much better a girl would be, and even making little jokey "ooh no" faces when I talked about it being a boy. It made me feel instantly protective over the baby, and worried that people might not care about him as much as they do DD (not that I knew what sex it was)!
When I was pregnant with DD, and before I knew she was a girl, I was really hoping for it to be a girl. At the 20 week scan I braced for it being a boy, and ran through all the cool things I could possibly think of to do with boys. Astronauts, dinosaurs, cool science stuff, sports, etc. All very cliched, but it worked, as I started thinking that actually a boy could be really great. And then DD was a girl anyway, so that all worked out fine!
Maybe that kind of thing could help, though? Making a mental list of all the things that you might love about having a girl - no matter how gender stereotyped they are. For me it was things like - having that friendship bond as she got older and all the deep chats over cups of tea, gymnastics, netball, cute dresses, someone who might share my love of Disney films(!), outnumbering DH on family movie nights, and a million other things.
And, despite those lists, all kids are individuals anyway. I have a nephew that is into everything traditionally aimed at girls, and a SIL who grew up as a tomboy and refused to play with girl toys or wear dresses. Whatever your little girl is like you will love her, and once she is here you won't be able to imagine her being anything other than who she is.
27-07-2012 16:53 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
I wanted a girl this time just cause I thought 3 year old dd would enjoy having someone to play with and I wouldn't have to purchase so many things...... Wouldn't you know it, of course we are having a boy !
I'm ok with it now, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed !
27-07-2012 17:37 #29Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
I think when you have that baby in your arms you are not going to care whether it's a boy or a girl, you will love it for the simple fact that it's a part of you and it will have all it's own little personality traits and quirks that will make it so special.
Don't worry what people say, I have two boys and another on the way and people keep telling me they "hope" it's a girl so I can go shopping etc etc. I could care less what it is, boys are awesome and so are girls.
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27-07-2012 17:43 #30
I am still hoping that when we have our next bub, it's a girl. Both DH and I wanted our DS to be a girl, quite badly. And when we went in for the gender scan and the sonographer said "It's a girl!" we were so thrilled we were both grinning like idiots.
Then a second later he said "No, wait a minute... That's a boy!" and our faces both fell.
I think he thought we were horrible parents. I honestly didn't gel with the idea of having a son until he was a few months old. And then I couldn't imagine him any other way.
Now I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I honestly think I'm starting to prefer the idea of two boys too! Then I'm still the queen of my castle, and I don't have to worry about crazy girl hormones at puberty. Boys are nuts too I know, but my sister and I were FERAL at that age! I'd rather avoid that.
That and I honestly don't know how to have a close relationship to a daughter :/ My mother was no role model when it came to that so I just have no idea. So if I have a girl next I won't be disappointed or upset the way I was when I found out DS was a boy. But I WILL be a fair bit apprehensive and worried.
And the worst part is that if you say anything about it to anyone, they look at you like you've sprouted a second head.
HOW can you not want a girl? What? Because you don't know if you can relate to a little girl the same way you do to your son?.. You can almost hear them thinking "What are you, a bad parent or something?".
But still. I really would like to TRY to be a mumma to a little princess, so I know what you mean I think. The want for that gender is there and nothing anyone says makes it go away. I just learnt that boys are just as awesome as girls when I had DS so my views are all over the place now *chuckle*.
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Inked Mumma (27-07-2012)
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