I can understand how you feel. When I fell pregnant with DD I wanted another boy. I didn't mind if it was a girl, I just thought it would be cool to have another boy because of the close age with DS (they are 16 months apart). When I found out I was having a girl though I was actually surprised that I was over the moon. I also had fear though of not being able to love another child as much as I loved DS, I just couldn't imagine how that was possible... But it was.
Everyone was so excited to shop for DD. For me it was because everyone else had boys and she was the first girl. I have a sister with 2 boys who desperately wanted a girl with her second but didn't and does not want anymore children, so she buys alot for my daughter. She didn't buy very much for DS but that was because it wasn't as exciting because she had 2 boys of her own. She still loves DS just as much as DD but its the novelty of buying girls clothes she loves. Also girls are really way more fun to shop for... I stuggle to find really cute stuff for DS but DD is easy...
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18-07-2012 17:00 #11
18-07-2012 17:07 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
hugs, i empathise 100%.
i wanted a 2nd boy...and was so hurt by the comments of "oh good, I only wanted a grand daughter" etc
my poor ds wanted a brother...and came to me and said "what do i say when everyone else is happy and i'm not happy"...poor lil man
Hugs for you...i will say, that after a month or so we all got used to it and began to get very excited about our little pink bundle. Any, now she is here, we could not imagine her being a boy.
Take your time and don't feel pressured. I love my lil boy so much and it made me tempted to try again for another (but I am not going back again lol).
18-07-2012 17:11 #13
it's ok to worry that ppl will favour your girl when she comes along over your boy unfortunately it's like getting a new toy everyone makes a fuss and then forget.
18-07-2012 17:12 #14
I have been there too. Give yourself time.
18-07-2012 17:15 #15
I know exactly how you feel, so no judgement from me.
When we found out what DD was, I was so disappointed. I didn't want the kid anyway, and thought if it was a boy I'd have a chance at liking it, since I have 6 sisters and only 3 brothers. I always got along better with my brothers, and was NOT looking forward to the stupid dressups, makeup, and c%%%p like that.
I was so disappointed and, I guess, disgusted, that I referred to the baby as 'it' up until her birth, even when we knew what she was.
I even considered adoption so I wouldn't have to have a girl, if you can believe that!
My first thought when she was born was "PLEASE say "it's a boy!", but no, disappointed again, the scan was right.
It took a while to get over it, helped none at all by the tyrannical nurse, but eventually I realised that none of the problem lay with her. She was a fine kid, as good as boy, but the issue was mine.
She met and exceeded my expectations for having a girl; she's very feminine but also very grounded in her interest of dinosaurs, comics, Star Wars, camping, stuff like that.
She's excited to go on hunting trips with me, she can kick a football further than my grown up brothers, and she's above all the boys in her Krav Magar classes.
You might just get the surprise I did and end up with a child that is far better than what you assumed you'd get!
Don't feel guilty about your feelings, you're still going to be an awesome mum! And you're doing far better than I did with the news, so you'll do better than me!
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18-07-2012 17:19 #16Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Don't worry, they'll gush over the little girl for a little while and then drop her like a hotcake pretty quick... we had a little girl after 4 boys and went through the same thing, it didn't take them too long to get bored again.
18-07-2012 17:22 #17
Maybe the big fuss is because they know it's not what you had your heart set on?
18-07-2012 17:23 #18
Just wanted to say
A) no judgement from me
B) give yourself time to get used to the idea
C) at least you won't compare how much you love one boy with another because they are different
18-07-2012 17:24 #19
It is so strange, people have some very strange reactions and I do find it odd that people get so carried away about girls.
Still, at least.....
you're not having one of these
18-07-2012 17:44 #20
Thanks everyone already feeling a little better about it all. I think it's less gender disappointment and more being a bit protective of my son. I haven't had the 'ohmigod I'm ruining his life with a sibling' moment until today. I know he will love her to pieces (he'd better LOL)
SPG you cracked me up! DS was adamant I was having a crocodile at my 12 week scan, but now apparently it's gone again so at least I don't have to cope with giving birth to a croc
Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
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