I'm at my wits end and 14 month old DD won't sleep! :-(
Everyone around me (my husband, sister, mother-in-law, friends and even pediatrician) suggest I do Controlled Crying but I just CAN'T do it!!!
Has anyone else experienced this where they're out numbered and pressured to do CC?
Any suggestions or advice (or success stories) would be greatly appreciated!
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18-07-2012 12:41 #1
Everyone wants me to do Controlled Crying!
18-07-2012 12:58 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
Id print off or send everyone all the links to how damaging CC.
18-07-2012 13:01 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time with your daughter's sleep.
Stick to your guns, IMO you are doing the right thing.
I found it helped to be a bit vague regarding my DDs sleep around certain people. Not dishonest, just 'vague'.... you know when someone asks how they are sleeping, I would answer things like 'we are quite happy with how she is sleeping for her age', or 'she is sleeping like a baby' haha.
In the meantime vent away on here, and we will try and support and help you.
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18-07-2012 13:09 #4-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
*hugs* everyone around me told me i *had* to cc ds to teach him to sleep, i tried taking him back to bed and leaving him.
It didnt work, it upset me, it upset him. It resulted in massive bedtime stress.
In the end i just gave up, i co-slept, i allowed ds to stay awake when awake and asleep when asleep.
I did night wean at 22 months as i could not deal with the hourly waking / nursings.
He is 2 now and he finally gets it, he goes to bed at 6/6.30 and falls asleep in his own bed at 7.30/8.
I move him to my bed when i go to sleep where he sleeps 11 / midnight - 6/7 am waking once or twice.
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18-07-2012 13:10 #5
When DD was that age I would give her a bottle to sleep (prior to that it was boob and bed sharing). May not be a perfect answer, but better than a baby/toddler screaming and getting distressed imo. Most of the time it would just be a bottle of water after brushing teeth etc to minimise damage to them, and it was enough to get her to drop off to sleep.
As for dealing with other people.. I second the suggestion of being 'vague' .. Unless you think you may actually get useful advice from the person
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Last edited by Super Trooper; 18-07-2012 at 13:13.
18-07-2012 13:15 #6
I had the same problem when ds was a baby. I gave in and tried it once and then never did it again, it was horrible. It turns out that he is lactose intolerant so he was crying and waking up out of pain so I'm really glad I comforted him rather then leave him to cry.
I agree to be very vague when people ask how your LO is sleeping then just change the subject. They soon get the picture that you don't want their 'great advice'
Do what you feel is right and natural for you don't let any one else tell you other wise
18-07-2012 13:18 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
What do you want to do?
Is the lack of sleep an issue for you?
You can implement some sleep training without shutting the door and leaving your baby to cry.
I'm going to start with my 8 month old soon (he's a little unwell at the moment).
I'll be trying to cut back on night feeds since he is still feeding every 3hrs. Instead of feeding I'll pat him back to sleep. Baby bliss is a good book for tips.
I did a similar thing with my DD when she was 9 months old and she started sleeping through in just a few nights.
18-07-2012 13:26 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
You can teach self settling without controlled crying.
Baby Bliss or No Cry Sleep Solution.
My girls were younger, but I settled them by patting and singing and only picked them up if they were distressed. But i 'm on my own mostly with twins, tears are unavoidable in this house!
Only you have to live with your choice, do what sits well with you.
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18-07-2012 13:52 #9
I suggest reading a sleeping program which I am happy to share with anyone, just pm me with your email! It gave me lots of tips and a better understanding. It does suggest controlled crying but made me feel not so bad for trying it, it also suggests a time frame for allowing bub to cry before going to him etc. It took 2 nights and bub soon became a good settler and continues to be the best sleeper. I would never let my bub cry and cry for hours on end just to be clear.
18-07-2012 14:02 #10
It is lots of pressure when you are tired from lack of sleep & everyone keeps saying "just let them cry - they eventually get it" etc & making out as if your child is abnormal for not sleeping 12hrs straight.
I agree with a pp - just gloss over any questions about your DDs sleeping habits. It is none of their business (except for your hubby).
I had several people pressuring me to do CC with my DD a few months ago during a very unsettled sleep period (DD was waking several times a night)...DF, MIL, FIL... MIL & FIL bragged constantly about how they got DF to sleep through very early on by using CC.
Poor bubs hadn't been very well & was recovering from a bad cold/cough. I did adjust her bedtime routine (little/no TV, solids, play then into a onesie & sleeping bag then a milk feed & off to bed). It did improve & she started sleeping much better - it also helped that she got over her cold/cough too.
Stick to your instincts on it - maybe show them some research/data on why CC isn't a great option.
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