Dd's BF hasnt been supportive in the last 6 years of DDs life. We divorced when DD was 2.5yrs old. So for 3.5yrs (and before that really!!) ive been looking after DD on my own. DD has multiple health and development issues, including autism.
DD is in special ed prep, and see's BF 1/2 of each school holidays. We live 8hr apart, and when DD went to visit BF this school holidays, he noticed she's not up to the level that his prep age step son is.
BF called me tonight (1st time since he's had DD over two weeks ago) and said that he's been looking into the school his SS goes to and suggested DD goes to live with him to attend that school.
Ummm.... DD has so much support here with therapists, her ECDP, me doing sooo much extra academic intervention at home.
There is no way I will let that happen, he can't just uphaul her from the school she knows, on a 50/50 chance she might do a bit better at another school.
DD has never been at age appropriate developmental level, and seriously, i never expect her to be exactly like other kids her age. Her IQ was just tested and she scored 74 (average is 100, special school elegibility is 70).
Am i being unreasonable here? Or am i right in thinking that she needs to stay with me? There are way less services out when BF lives. Thats the reason we moved her 18months ago!!
We have consent orders that state DD lives with me in this town, so unless he takes this issue to court, I will not send her to live with him.
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17-07-2012 19:51 #1
He wants her to live with him...
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17-07-2012 19:56 #2
What a ridiculous load of crap. Just ignore him, and if he's serious he'll take it to court, at which point a judge will not likely appoint him custody or even 50/50 baed on the living situations, supports you have set up, the fact you left that area to get the supports, etc. I know it's hard to ignore people, but seriously, he needs to get a life.
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17-07-2012 20:00 #3
17-07-2012 20:04 #4
So im right??
The whole idea does not sit well with me at all. Theres no chance thats hapening. I emailed him after we spoke and explained exactly about the support and her school and everything like that so if he checks his emails he'll get my answer. I gave him DD's teachers name and phone number (which i've done on numerous occassions but obviously that went over the head) and said to have a chat to her and discuss you concerns and they might be able to put some things into practice to apease him.
17-07-2012 20:06 #5
Aw, hugs. Must be such a scary thing to have to deal with xoxo
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17-07-2012 20:07 #6
Of course you're right, even I'd she didn't have autism and other things you mentioned it would be a major upheaval and emotionally unfair on your DD for her to just all of a sudden be away from her primary caregiver ie you, for 3 months at a time.
Her sperm donor hasn't thought this through at all.
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17-07-2012 20:10 #7
The only way he will get your DD is if he can take you to court and PROVE you are SERIOUSLY UNFIT as a mother.
Given the circumstances; he's going to end up with some great egg on his face.
I wouldn't stress - consent orders state she's with you - so what I said above is the ONLY way he could ever change that.
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17-07-2012 20:16 #8-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Could you invite him to your town for a few days so he can visit your Daughters school/take her
To her therapist/help you with some of the intervention at home?
He probably has no real idea how hard you are working to help your daughter. Involving him
May help stop any bs custody claim
Before it starts.
If by some small chance your ex refuses your offer, that will
Not look good on him in court.
17-07-2012 20:20 #9
lol ViPark, thats a great idea, as BF would never bother. I know without a doubt he wouldnt, because all DD's life he's been invited to attend each and every appointment she''s ever had and he's never bothered. He didnt even bother when we were together, even for surgeries!!
Thats what i thought Blue&Pink. They wont take her off me on an off chance she might learn a little more at a different school hey...
17-07-2012 20:23 #10
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