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  1. #1
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    Question New to the "area" :) Sorry, long intro and rant on absent father wanting kids back.

    Hello everyone.
    My Name is Lauren, I'm 27 with two princesses aged 5 and 7.
    Both girls have lived with my full time since i left their biological father in 2008 as he was being unfaithful to me, emotionally abusive and neglectful of his children. At the time my girls were only 8 months and 3 years (almost). I then spent the next two years trying to get my ex to have some sort of contact with the children to encourage an on-going relationship, but he was disinterested and kept saying how he wasn't ready for the responsibility of the kids. The few times he did speak to his eldest daughter he would tell her that he was coming to visit her and never showed up. Another time he told her that because she had been naughty, she wasn't allowed to see him!! So after a while i gave up and stopped trying to keep in touch with him. I decided he had done enough emotional damage to my eldest daughter and if he wasn't going to grow up and be a man, well he wash;t going to see his kids. after months of not hearing from him he finally sent me a text asking if i could get his daughter to call him and i told him no and reeled off the various reasons and since then it has been on and off for the last four years with mediation requests and court threats that never get carried out because he is too damn lazy. He made an attempt last year to sign my eldest daughter out of school but the principal stopped him after my daughter said she had no idea who the man was that wanted to take her. Now i am receiving more mediation requests (after two failed attempts on his depart) as he has gotten a girl pregnant and wants to play happy families with all the children. I'm currently in two minds about how to go about this situation. If i don't respond to the request, it may look bad on my behalf, but i am determined to protect my babies from this man who has only ever damaged them in the past and i know the courts don't care for that.

    Has anyone else been in a similar situation? an almost complete stranger trying to get to your kids (well thats the situation in a nutshell for me anyways)

  2. #2
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    Hi miss00binks,
    I think you've posted in the wrong area, I reckon you will get replies if you post this in the single parents section
    Good luck

  3. #3
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    Post ove rint eh signle parents section and maybe edit this one for your name,ages of the kiddies just in case!

  4. #4
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    Hi there, welcome to bubhub

    It's not really my area of expertise as I've never been through mediation etc, but you can get some free legal advice on these types of issues through the women's legal service in your state - her is the link to the one in Vic:

    www.womenslegal.org.au

    All the best

  5. #5
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    honestly, i think you should go to mediation!

    He has been trying to get you to go...and it's not only about being lazy, it's about the HUGE amount of money that going through court will cost you both.

    Go to mediation...see what they say and then make a decision based on what it best for the kids.

    My ex buggered off overseas when DS was very little and rarely saw him. It was hard, but i did keep the contact going (he was under 4 so phone calls really no use). It was stressful when he came back (and even then he disappeared a few more times) but...now they have a good relationship.

    A good relationship with a bio parent is really important to the kids...and for girls, having a good bond with dad can stop them making some mistakes as teen girls.

    I know you've been hurt (as have the kids over the years) but, as a bio mum, i strongly suggest going to mediation and taking it from there.


 

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