My DH took his wedding ring off and left it on a tiny kettle at my mum's house a little while ago. He has made no effort to collect and says that it is uncomfortable to wear. He also says it is too dangerous to wear at work. I suggested wearing it around his neck but he didn't like that idea. Is it normal for me to feel a little upset that he is refusing to wear it?
I feel like it is a symbol of the problems we are having. I have a problem with sex and don't ever want to have it. I have never been good in that area and always use to find it incredibly painful. He is the first person I have ever enjoyed it with so you would think that I would want to be intimate with him all the time but I can't think of anything worse. I have decided to seek counselling but when I suggested it to him he said it sounded expensive and unhelpful. I don't want to lose him but I think I will if I don't fix myself. I am so scared that he will just get so sick of it that he will kick me out. I lost someone before because of this and it took me years to find my DH. I love him very much!! I want to fix this badly
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14-07-2012 01:27 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
- Balga WA
Should I be upset that he doesn't wear his wedding ring?
14-07-2012 02:22 #2-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
It sounds like you guys have some issues to work through, that arent related to his wedding ring.
My DH couldnt wear his at work (in the mines) and actually lost it 3 years ago (havent gotten around to replacing it yet) and we just celebrated our 12th anniversary.
I dont wear mine either atm (ive put on 30 kg and they dont fit anymore)
So for us rings have no bearing on our relationship
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14-07-2012 04:12 #3
Yea I don't see the wedding ring as a problem either but you clearly know you have other issues that need to be addressed.
It sucks that you feel this way because of insecurities from a previous relationship. Not for fear of him leaving, but because you want to try to be able to satisfy his needs you need to seek help from a professional. Good luck..
14-07-2012 06:16 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
- Sunshine Coast
If there's a reason he can't wear it at work, then fair enough. I'd expect him to wear it at other times though and I'd find it quite disrespectful if he didn't. If it's not comfy, can it be adjusted or replaced?
14-07-2012 06:27 #5
I think the problem is deeper than the ring.
My husband never wears his, doesn't bother me. I forget to put mine on all the time as I take them off to go to the gym. I haven't worn mine for about a week.
14-07-2012 07:16 #6
I don't wear my engagement ring & have not done for nearly a year, it got in the way & was starting to get uncomfortable. DP has a ring & only wears it when we go out because it's to uncomfortable & is to dangerous to wear at work.
14-07-2012 07:21 #7
I'm sorry, sounds like you are having a rough time emotionally. I can relate, because of various issues (some within the marriage and some just 'my' issues) I have not had a sex drive for almost a year. I worry aswell about sex being a reason DH would leave me, or stray as he has a very high sex drive.
Counselling sounds like a great idea, if you can't find the cash for it maybe your employer has a free counselling service for employees?
14-07-2012 07:23 #8
I used to hate it when we were newlyweds and wanted him to wear it when we went out, but now I don't even think about it. It lives on his key ring and it's always "on" him except when he's home with us.
I wear mine all the time, but after 5 years and 2 kids, I know that him not wearing it doesn't mean anything.
OP, I think you probably both need counseling, though getting him to go could be difficult from the sounds of it. Hope you can have a big talk and work things out
14-07-2012 07:39 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Gold Coast / Brisbane
My friends got mairred and he chose a pocket watch instead of a ring because he knew he would never wear it. Perhaps you could get something special like that that would mean the same?
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14-07-2012 07:43 #10
I wouldn't read anything into the ring thing. Lots of guys don't like wearing them or find them uncomfortable, my cousin's DH is an example. Had a ring for the ceremony and tried to wear it afterwards but ended up just packing it away.
However the other issues you are having need to be addressed, as the PPs have said. Good luck hun.
By headoverfeet in forum WeddingsReplies: 124Last Post: 06-10-2013, 19:59
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