So my partner just turned to me and said, for the first time.... "I would really like to have a child with you". Made my heart melt, he is fantastic with my DS and would be a brilliant father. We have discussed it "hypothetically", even discussing our options with IVF should we decide to have a child in the future. But he's never said it outright.
Anyhow, after spotting something on the hub about circ, I asked him what his decision would be if we were to have a son. He was adamant that any son he had would be circed. Which is where the problem lies. I am FIRMLY, 100% against it, and it's something that I absolutely refuse to budge on - in fact, it makes me feel ill even thinking about it
I could tell that he wasn't happy with my opinion, so he said that we'd discuss it again if the time comes. I just know that I am going to have a battle on my hands.
Has anyone else faced this problem with their OH? How did it all pan out, and how did you convince your other half that you would not budge on the circ issue? Did he eventually side with you?
Any advice or opinions? I know it's early to be thinking about this, but I'd like to be prepared. I'm hoping I can educate him a little more about the risks of circumcision before we even start planning a child, so that this doesn't become an issue during a possible pregnancy.
Please do not turn this into a debate! Thank you
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13-07-2012 19:09 #1
DP is pro-circ, and I am anti-circ....I think we have a problem here!
13-07-2012 19:14 #2
Is he circumcised?
13-07-2012 19:24 #3
I argued that no child would be paying attention to his penis anyway, that he would be more likely to notice his brothers (my DS) penis which is uncirced. I also said that the simple solution to the cleanliness issue is for the boy to not be lazy and learn to wash it properly! As for STI's, using a condom is more effective protection than circ, and baby girls have a higher chance of UTI's, but we don't cut their bits off do we? I said to him that I don't believe in cutting off a natural part of a boys body without his consent, simply for cosmetic purposes, that they are born with a foreskin for a reason. He got grumpy after that and changed the topic.
I have been stewing on this ALLLLLL day It really is a deal breaker for me.
13-07-2012 19:24 #4
Dp and I are ttc, he's pro cir and I'm against. Ds isn't circumcised, dp is, ds isn't dp's son. I know if the time comes when we have a son together it's going to get ugly, lets hope we have a daughter lol.
13-07-2012 19:25 #5
My mum had this issue ... she is anti .. dad is pro ... when my brother was born she knew it would be an issue (dad's whole family are pro) - she told him that if HE wanted the child circed- HE had to find a doctor who would do it .. HE had to make the appointment.. HE had to take the baby to the doctor and get it down and HE had to change all nappies for a week afterwards as she wanted nothing to do with it..
bottom line?? my brother isn't circed .. lol
I guess the above strategy would depend on who determined your partner is though .. if he is really determined that might not work ..
the only other thing I can think of is to find information online .. DH was pro till I showed him online footage if he loves humour etc ... google Penn and Teller (I think that is how its spelt?) and circ .. they did a long show about it (I think its broken into chunks on youtube) - thats all it took to turn my DH off the idea
13-07-2012 19:27 #6
13-07-2012 19:35 #7
This is the first time we've ever clashed over anything really, and this issue is MAJOR to me. We otherwise have very similar ideals in life, beliefs in parenting methods, etc. He is very supportive and encouraging with my wishes to breastfeed for as long as possible, to vaccinate, to stay at home with bub for at the least the first couple of years, he is against smacking and controlled crying as am I....so all seemed well...until this. And this is a big one to me. I feel really upset about it actually
13-07-2012 19:43 #8
Agree with above post, tell him if he wants it done he has to organise it and i reckon 9 times outta 10 it won't happen
13-07-2012 19:44 #9
It would probably backfire on me if I did tell him to, because he would! There's no way I could allow that
13-07-2012 20:43 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I could have written your exact posts 3 years ago. I was so mad and physically ill over it. We found out we were having a boy and it was like my world ended because I couldn't bear the thought of my baby going through that. A) I told him to organise it all and go with him etc. B) Do his own research into it and C) he HAD to watch an online video of how it was performed.
Sounds harsh but my ds is all intact! And my DH is now anti-circ
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