My ds1 is 9 in a few months and he's becoming very curious about where babies come from and sex in general. He's not directly asking questions but I've heard him watching tv with his brother and saying some girl was 'sexy' and he's ahhh heard dp and I at least once when we thought they were asleep and giggled and grinned at me and said we were doing naughty things, much to my extreme mortification!
He's also ADHD and low spec autistic but he's capable of understanding things when their explained. When do you think is the right age for the talk? I was thinking now is too early maybe in a year or two? I never got given the talk (my parents let school do it for them.....)
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13-07-2012 09:08 #1
When to have THE talk?
13-07-2012 09:14 #2
TBH I'm genuinely surprised he hasn't had it already!!!
I think in this day and age when kids are exposed to so much through media and 'experimenting' earlier the sooner the better
We started learning about stuff in year 3 at school - first just basics then as we got older more in depth
I think you might find yourself surprised at what he already does know!
My 6 yo DS asked a few days ago how babies get out of a mothers tummy (friends have a newborn who we visited in hospital) I told him from the ladies vagina. I think you need to take your child's lead and honestly answer questions as they arise that way they will feel comfortable coming and asking you.
13-07-2012 09:15 #3
My daughters are almost 6 and almost 4 and they both know the anatomical terms for their genitals and where babies come out of.
My almost 6 year old has a basic understanding of how babies are made - i have an egg called an ovum, daddy has fertiliser called sperm and the two mix together in my uterus to make a baby. Very basic but she's young.
My advice is start from the very beginning, keep it simple and let him lead the conversation with his questions. Make sure you talk about feelings as well, dd understands that dh and i love eachother and she has an understanding of consent.
I hope that helps!!
13-07-2012 09:50 #4
I don't believe in having The TALK, I believe we should have ongoing conversations from day one. Go with what he wants to know, You every opportunity you have to give information in a open and friendly age appropriate way. Answer all of his questions, Ask some of your own. Make it so he can come to you about everything. I know my kids have given me some curly that I had to say i don't know but I will find out and get back to you (new name for a old act)
13-07-2012 10:31 #5
Well in our house there have been lots of babies around so the boys all know where they come from.
They just don't know how they get 'in' there... no idea how to tackle that yet..
I told them when a mum and dad love each other they choose to have a baby, and mum has eggs inside her, that grow into a baby in her tummy and then when the babies ready it comes out her vagina. (Does it hurt Mum?) Yes. But I love you more than the pain it gave me, and it only hurt for a little while.
Ask him what he thinks 'sexy' means... O kept saying he was sexy, or that was sexy or blah blah blah... and turns out he thought it was just another way of saying 'good looking'
Not sure about the ins and outs yet though....
I think I'm going to do a lot of 'building female friends' and 'being virtuous men' before getting into the 'sex' stuff... because the whole idea of sex these days is linked to female objectification.... so I think I'd like to try and get that on track before introducing intercourse.
13-07-2012 11:26 #6
I think it might be a good idea to give him the talk very soon. If you don't, someone at school will, and you can bet your backside that they won't be giving him the correct facts... and he'll be wandering around believing the crap they've just told him. It's much better he knows THE TRUTH than knows some nonsense from the playground.
My daughter is not-quite-7 and knows all about the uterus, sperm and eggs and the basics of conception (sperm comes from the man's testicles, mixes with the woman's egg... makes a baby that grows in the uterus... blah blah). She doesn't know HOW the sperm gets from the male to the female... she hasn't asked yet... but I also haven't given her any siblings so it's not something she's thinking too much about. If she doesn't ask by about 9-10 I will just ask her what she thinks happens, and then tell her the truth. I want to get to her before schoolyard nonsense does.
13-07-2012 11:57 #7
Whenever DD asks a question, I tell her the truth. She asked about babies and I told her pretty much the same as munchie (she was 2).
She is very clever, I don't want her to think sex, babies, or anything like that is embarrassing or taboo.
My hopes are that she will feel like she can always talk to us about anything no matter what.
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