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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Nice? They usually get taken away for very good reasons. I know a few people who's kids get taken away. They have been offered every kind of help available and they just don't care and can't be bothered.
    That's why I said where possible. A single mum leaves an abusive relationship, is on her own, 4 kids under school age, throw in disabilities, sleepless nights, mum flips out and gives them up. She finds herself for the first time because she was pregnant by 16, married by 18, everything went so fast. She then meets someone, remembers her overwhelming and difficult life was with the 4 kids and no support so doesn't fight to get them back. With support and guidance, she might just realise she can cope now. Of course someone on drugs, abusing the kids, not caring enough to change is probably a lost cause.

    I just know that even abused kids in care love their parents. Some families can be helped.

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  3. #22
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    Its a shame these monster's human rights are considered more important than the rights of any future children. I'm not sure you can go from being a baby killer to a fit parent.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I just know that even abused kids in care love their parents. Some families can be helped.
    Yes, and believe it or not, a lot of neglectful parents also love their children.

    It seems incomprehensible to those of us who come form 'normal' upbringings and have no mental/intellectual impairments, but a lot of people who abuse or neglect their kids do really love them, they just have none of the tools necessary to show that love or care for a child. So even though they lose a child to DOCS due to not being able to care for it, they still have that urge to have kids and be loved and needed I guess

    In the case of the girl who left the baby on her neighbours driveway, obviously BIG issues going on there, and I am in NO WAY excusing her behaviour or saying she should be able to keep her children or whatever, but I think we can all agree, its a pretty horrific situation when an 18 yr old is SO scared of telling her mum she is pregnant that this seems like a better option.

    I think its really really complex and very sad, and unfortunately there are areas of Australia where problems like this are rife. It just goes from generation to generation, we learn how to parent and how to love in big part from the way we were parented and loved, its so so hard to break bad cycles

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  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    Yes, and believe it or not, a lot of neglectful parents also love their children.

    It seems incomprehensible to those of us who come form 'normal' upbringings and have no mental/intellectual impairments, but a lot of people who abuse or neglect their kids do really love them, they just have none of the tools necessary to show that love or care for a child. So even though they lose a child to DOCS due to not being able to care for it, they still have that urge to have kids and be loved and needed I guess

    In the case of the girl who left the baby on her neighbours driveway, obviously BIG issues going on there, and I am in NO WAY excusing her behaviour or saying she should be able to keep her children or whatever, but I think we can all agree, its a pretty horrific situation when an 18 yr old is SO scared of telling her mum she is pregnant that this seems like a better option.

    I think its really really complex and very sad, and unfortunately there are areas of Australia where problems like this are rife. It just goes from generation to generation, we learn how to parent and how to love in big part from the way we were parented and loved, its so so hard to break bad cycles
    Absoltuely agree, very well said

  8. #25
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    I totally understand that a lot of people have mental issues, I don't think many parents would intentionally hurt their child, the circumstances just overtake everything. But, I think the child should come first, and not fall through the cracks. The most important priority should be the needs and safety of the child.

  9. #26
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    The problem lies in where you draw the line.

    Forced sterilisation is so so slippery. The line is drawn at the moment at diminished mental capacity, where if the woman were to get pregnant (or the man was to impregnate someone) it would greatly reduce both the safety and wellbeing of the baby, and the parent. When they cannot be trusted to avoid pregnancy, because they don't understand that they are simply not capable of being a parent. If that line was moved to "bad parents", what are the prerequisites for that? HOW bad to they have to be? What constitutes bad? Who decides? It's a mess.

    Also, "the rights of the child should come first" is super slippery too. Especially when it comes to abortion. If the rights of the unborn are put before the born and established, you're telling women the rights of a potential human are more important than their rights. Which I personally have issue with.

    There's no easy way to deal with this unfortunately I think the way we're going about it now is about as good as we can manage without going down a road we REALLY don't want to go down. We just need to make sure the appropriate programs are funded and properly staffed, and there's support for all involved. Education and support is the key.

  10. #27
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    I overheard my neighbour talking about having her kids taken off her, saying she can't live with the ftb and then said she would just get pregnant again. so so sad.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  11. #28
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    also so glad I moved!

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  12. #29
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    The child was deemed 'at risk' as a direct result of the abandonment of the first child.

    This is why Australia needs to provide options like the infant drop centers that other countries have.

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    The people in those articles are very, very young. What they did is just unimaginable, shocking...but they may grow up to realise the true extent of what they have done and be completely remorseful.

    I find it distressing beyond belief, but sterilising people imo won't bring back those babies. I believe more funding and support of docs having more power to prevent things like this with children at risk would be better.
    You're right.. it won't bring them back but it'll stop having more and repeating the same thing. I have no problem with having people sterilized just like I have no problem having men who molest children or rape people to be castrated.

    As far as I'm concerned people who abuse/neglect or whatever with their kids don't deserve to have anymore and I couldn't care less about their rights. They don't care about the child's rights. If they don't want the baby or the responsibility of having one either have an abortion or give it up for adoption or even better use protection!! (Yes I know there are people who get pregnant even with protection - but there's always abortion and adoption for those cases).
    Last edited by Renesme; 13-07-2012 at 07:56.

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