When we were trying to conceive our baby my husband and I both had everything together, successful jobs low debt, happy lives. Now that Im 27wks pregnant everything has turned upside down.
We both lost our jobs. Now we're behind in rent and had to reach out to Centrelink. The second lowest day in my life. The lowest was when we had to ask my Father-in-law for money. I feel so ashamed.
Ofcourse I cant get a job now because Im pregnant and no one will hire me. My husband has a job but is paid on commission. He has to wait for deals to settle to make money. He's a finance consultant.
Every day I sit at home with our puppy trying to figure out what to do. I try to come up with these money making deals that will bring in money quick. But nothing seems to work. Im so depressed. If i had of known we were going to be like this I would have never tried for our beautiful baby.
To make matters worse I had a fight with my sister over a stupid fb status update. Now we are not talking and said some real mean things to each other. Now i dont have her to plan my baby shower like i always wanted so Im doing it myself.
My great uncle passed away a couple of weeks ago.I didnt really know him but it is sad to see my family so upset.
Also my mum and dad are having trouble keeping up their home payments. My brother is too. Everyone is struggling with money!!! It's doing my head in.
If only there was a way. I wish I could give all my family money because I just want us all to be happy. My husband is so stressed too trying to earn money for us. I know he is doing the best he can but the money isnt coming in quick enough.
I feel terrible for my poor baby growing. I hope she cannot feel the stress and tension that I feel.
Well all I have to do is keep pushing on Im sure there are many people in my situation or even worse.
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11-07-2012 16:18 #1Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Gold Coast
11-07-2012 16:28 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Big deep breath!!
Life will always happen whether you are pregnant or not. You just have to make the best of what you have!
1. Could you have a garage sale? Or put some things on Gumtree that you don't want anymore? (clearing out the house will give you something to do AND make you a quick buck... Your trash is someone else's treasure!).
2. YES people WILL hire a pregnant lady. You just have to keep looking. It will be hard, however you may manage it. Try a temp agency (look on Seek.com.au)
3. Start looking for things you CAN do and ENJOY. Eg, go for a walk to your local park with your hubby. Make it into a picnic (sangers)... Enjoy life for an hour without worrying too much.
4. Take a big breath and apologise to your sister. Who cares who is right or wrong, you need her. The world will seem much harder and harsher without her. Deep breath and call...
5. Make a normal ol dinner and eat it by candle light.. Make it a weekly thing... Saves electricity and makes for a 'romantic' evening..
I am sure I can think up some more things if you would like.
It sounds like a horrible situation to find yourself in. But you really do have the power to make a difference, however small!
11-07-2012 19:01 #3
Agree with PPs suggestions - especially about making up with ur sister. Who cares who's right or wrong - u are going to need the support and the journey will be much better with her around
Don't worry about ur bub. I had a very stressful pregnancy, hubby and I were falling apart (money stress, I lost my job, his biz was tanking, relationship issues) - lotsa crying, screaming, cussing.. And it continued until bub was about 3-4 months old. I was so worried all the stress would negatively impact her, and I felt so much GUILT over it.. But my beautiful little girl is one of the happiest, smiliest, cheekiest little girls ever, so.. Pls dont stress!!!
Things will work out, it's taken us 2 yrs to get back on track but my beautiful baby girl never lacked for anything no matter how dire our money situation got. *hugs*
I'm sorry I don't have any helpful suggestions, but I did want to try give u some emotional support!
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11-07-2012 19:09 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Great suggestions! Sorry to hear about your tough situation OP. Just thought I would also offer emotional support. My DH decided to quit his job last year to study full time (crazy) but I supported him in his decision to better himself. Just wanted you to know that having a baby and being a good parent is not dependent on the amount of money you have. Your baby will not know if it is sleeping in a boori cot or being pushed around in a bugaboo. Try not to get caught up with the material stuff. The best things in life really are free.
And I agree with pp, you are still employable so don't stop trying! Wishing you all the best, and hoping you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy
11-07-2012 19:53 #5
Its hard to reach out to centrelink but they are there to help you when things hit the fan. Things may be looking tough right now but trust me it will change give it time.
There is no need to be ashamed of asking for help hun. Im sure your father in law understands. As for the job I am 25 weeks pregnant and just got hired in a 20 hour a week job so they still do hire people Big hugs
12-07-2012 05:30 #6
Mm I hear you. When I fell pregnant we both had jobs, within weeks later we lost them and didn't have any savings behind us.
Centrelink definitely sucks, but some offices are nicer than others. I swapped one with another because I got sick of watching fights break out, this one makes me feel alot less scummy. IMO they don't give enough rental assist especially if ur rent is high, but ohwell can't be choosy.
DF found work when I was over 3months thank god, but I never did. I did a few shifts with a recruitment company I was already under but obviously that wasn't much help. If my parents didn't help a little every now n then even with DF working full time I'd prob be screwed.
Try not to stress though, you don't need alot for babies. And at the baby showers people like giving u things that you need. Everyone who came to mine were always like 'what do u need?' and some got ****ty I alreally had all the essentials.
And u can look into second hand bassinets/prams etc. we did And you can borrow items from people.
Kmart/dimmys/best n less have cheap cute clothes too. Also don't feel bad if people want to buy things for baby, they are excited and love doing it -
12-07-2012 14:24 #7
My situation was similar to yours~
Both DH and I had steady jobs and were living comfortably before I got pregnant. I left my then job because of the amount of stress and was going to look for a new one after taking a short break. I found out I was pregnant after I resigned!
I felt guilty looking for another job lying to the management, but if I tell the truth whos going to hire me? So we started eating into our savings. To make matters worse, DH lost his job (not by choice) when I was 25 weeks pregnant and then Christmas was approaching, we were scheduled to move out of the city and meanwhile still had to pay rent and all bills, then the bond for the new house! I am not eligible for centrelink because I hold a NZ passport DH had to get on centrelink temporarily but that money covers nothing! I felt horrible when he had to borrow money from his mother! But we were seriously struggling and all I can think about is where are we going to get the money from! I was stressing so much I was in tears most days! I was even scared to answer phone calls about over due bills. Usually I am always on top of things and suddenly I felt so useless, incompetent, helpless and insecure. I felt so miserable and just couldnt see a light in the tunnel!
As I was getting bigger I was getting more depressed thinking we are not even going to have money to buy a pram and car seat! I started thinking what I can sell to get some money in! We sold some 2nd hand stuff, we borrowed $1000 from his mother (on top of all the other money borrowed) to buy some goods from China and then I started selling them at the markets and online, and slowly we ended up having an online business and now 20 months later our online business is so busy that I dont even have time to clean! Both DH and I are working from home and not on centrelink.
My parents live in NZ and are struggling with their own living expenses so wasnt able to help me. I was the one who sends them money every Christmas and I felt so bad not sending them anything that year and had to come up with excuses so they wont worry about me!
Definetly try to sort out the issue between you and your sister first. Thats one thing ticked off your list
Are you a crafty person? Markets are good to make some money~ Or you can try buying cheap from ebay then resell it for higher price. Do you have old shoes and clothes that doesnt fit? You can take surveys online and they pay you! DH did surverys for some beer company and got paid $200 just to sit there and answer some questions for 2 hours! Can you do casual temp work? Its hard to find one though...personal experience. It will take time, but dont worry things will work out for you I am sure
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