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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012

    Default DH changed his mind... So unsure now!

    Hi Ladies,

    This is my first post so firstly, Hi!

    Secondly, I have a bit of an issue that I need some guidance on... I apologise in advance if this turns into a novel!

    I have 2 beautiful Daughters who are aged 6 and 4 1/2 years old. They were both 'surprises' and I had them quite young (20 with DD1 and 22 with DD2) and are the absolute loves of my life! I had alot of issues when DD2 was born as she was born 17 months after DD1 and had severe silent reflux, did not sleep at all, and breastfed every hour for 45 mins, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the first 6 months of her life until the Dr finally gave me something to help her reflux. DH refused to hold her for the first 6 months as she literally screamed and cried and fed all the time, leaving me stressed out, so incredibly overtired, and with very bad PND. Needless to say, life was hell for a while. After that things got alot better, and as the children got older, they began to bond very well, and are today absolute best friends. They are so helpful and amazing, and everything is great.

    Despite the stress after DD2 I always knew I wanted 1 more eventually. When DD2 was 2 years old I felt it was time for another baby. DH was not convinced and said he was more than happy with 2 children, and had no immediate or future plans for baby#3. I was so sad because he was so convinced he was happy with our life as it is, and did not want another. Well, every now and then I asked him if he was sure and the answer was always the same, so despite me longing for number 3, I began to resign to the fact we were done having children and for the last year, each time the thought of baby #3 crept into my mind, I convinced myself our family is perfect (which it is) and was dealing with the reality of no more babies.

    Anyway, LONG STORY SHORT... Last night DH decided to tell me he wants 1 more baby. He was so convinced he didn't want any more kids, and has now changed his mind! So in his mind, he is really excited about us having number 3 soon, as he wants us to get pregnant within the next 2 months! And naturally he "knows" I want it too! But now I'm so confused!!!!!!

    Don't get me wrong I do want baby number 3, so much, and honestly the gender does not faze me at all, however I guess I'm a bit worried about the changes. Not the nappies, night feeds etc, I don't mind those, I am just a bit worried about how the dynamics of our family will change, finances, how my 2 children will go with another sibling, how I will cope with 3 kids, working still and choosing to bottle feed this time around for my own personal reasons - PND and my own sanity being one of them and feeling bad about not breastfeeding again, difficulty of going from 2-3 kids etc.

    I'm so confused! Has anyone else had similar thoughts like this? How did you overcome them?

    What is the transition like (family wise, financially, and stress wise) from 2-3 kids?

    Any help would be greatly appreciated thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I only have 1 kid but if I had concerns about nr 2 I would plan, plan, plan and talk, talk talk!
    - can you write out a new budget/routine for when/if baby nr 3 comes along? A list of pro's and cons? Next to the cons write possible solutions?

    Then talk with hubby, until you are
    Both feeling more prepared. Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm pregnant with number 2 so can't comment on 3 children. But when deciding to have number 2 we both had concerns from what it will be like welcoming a new baby to the family to whether we could love another child as much as we love ds (who will be 19months when bubs arrives) to can we be able to afford having another one, which I know seems silly but I was really worried about. When I found out I was pregnant I felt sooo guilty and thought that it was the wrong thing. After I had my dating scan at 7weeks something just sort of changed in me, everything felt right all of a sudden.

    I think whatever is meant to be will be. We never actually said we were officially trying we just let fate take it's course, knowing that everything will work out in the end.

    I hope this helps.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Happymum2 For This Useful Post:

    Pinksamillion (10-07-2012)


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