Im due with bubba no.2 in 7 weeks and am soo worried about how DS (18 months) will cope with sharing his mummy. He's such a mummys boy and i know he'll be so upset and super clingy about me holding and feeding newbie all day long! I'm having a C-section too so I'm unsure when i'll be able to pick him up...
Any advise or good or bad stories would be great!
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10-07-2012 06:51 #1
How did your toddler cope with a new baby?
10-07-2012 07:03 #2wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- Under Your Bed
I had dd when DS was 14 months. He was fine, took to her straight away. This time DS will be almost 4 and dd almost 3 but I'm not worried, DS already comes and rubs my tummy lol
10-07-2012 07:35 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
Hi there, my DS1 was 17 months when we had DS2. DS1 loved his sibbling but DS1 did become unsettled and started waking at night (sometimes more than the new baby). He also had some tantrums and was demmanding during the day at times. It was really tough in those early months, and I spent alot of my time (in between feeding) tending to DS1 as he was a very active toddler. I admit I used tv (abc kids) and food for DS1 when I fed DS2. It worked well. I also tried to be vigilant with a routine and I think that paid dividends for us because by 6.30pm they were both in bed without fail. Those hard days soon passed and now, a few years on, we are about to have bub #3. All the best.
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10-07-2012 08:31 #4
Ditto what littleriv said. Unfortunately DD, who was 2.5yo when DS was born (this was only 19wks ago), regressed in a lot of ways. I know it's perfectly normal but it was pretty hard - and still is some days. She'd been toilet trained several months before the birth but she started having more accidents, she started waking during the night, she wanted to be picked up constantly, she'd ask to sit on my lap the minute I sat down to put DS on the breast, she'd put herself between me and DS whenever I'd go to pick him up from his rocker and want to be picked up, she didn't want daddy to do anything for her (would only accept mummy's help) - that sort of thing. Oh, and a WHOLE lot more tantrums! I could handle the other stuff but the meltdowns just killed me...
Fortunately at the start she didn't take out her frustrations on the new baby but that did happen eventually - she's thumped him a few times (and made him howl) and now whenever she's having a tantrum she screams "Take him away! Take him back to hospital! No baby anymore!" - something to that effect. There've been times when I've had to move him into the other room just to keep him safe.
I think most of it is attention- and reassurance-seeking behaviour but it is hard work and you've got to be careful not to 'reward' the naughty stuff (like freaking out whenever she hits the baby). It is getting better now as I think she's getting used to the idea of having DS around and she's learning to accept that things are different but mummy and daddy still love her. Make sure you give DS lots of cuddles and try to spend one-on-one time with him. I had a really sore hoo-ha from episiotomy stitches so I can empathise with your c-section issue. DD liked sitting next to me on the couch cuddled up to read books - that's a good compromise. She also started saying "Mummy got a sore 'gina, can't picka me up", which was just charming when we'd go to visit the in-laws...!
But I should mention that it didn't take long for her to start saying how much she loves her little brother and how they're best friends Honestly, before you know it your biggest problem will be trying to get your son to stop hugging the new baby! Good luck - we've all gone through it and I'm pretty sure there's light at the end of the tunnel!
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10-07-2012 08:32 #5
Gawd, I write long replies! Sorry about that
11-07-2012 19:25 #6
DD1 was 19 months when DD2 was born, and we had some regression - mainly she stopped sleeping through the night. I didn't expect her to turn into such a daddy's girl, but I guess it makes sense because he gets up to her at night while I take care of the baby.
We just gave lots of love and reassurance to DD1, and we put that into words as well as actions. If both kids were cracking it but the baby could wait a minute I'd make a big deal of turning to the baby and saying "I'm sorry baby, I'm helping DD1 right now" and I'd sort the toddler out first. We also made a big deal of calling DD2 "her baby" and "her sister". Even though I thought she'd be too young, DD1 also liked getting her doll and having me change it's nappy and then she'd nurse it while I fed the baby.
Other than that, we did a lot of sitting down activities. We scribbled in a coloring book, played animal flashcards, did puzzles, read, played on the iPad while I looked after the baby.
DD2 is nearly 4 months now and all we do now is try to stop the toddler from sharing her food with her
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