Two or three hours of screaming in our arms before falling asleep is doing our head in. I can't cope. It's 9.30pm and DS has been screaming since 7.30pm. He's so overtired and worked up it's heartbreaking.
I refuse to leave him to cry alone. If I put him in his cot and sit with him, pat him, etc, he gets hysterical and then becomes even harder to settle. He's really distressed, not just angry.
Moving him to a big bed is an option we are thinking of trying but I honestly don't know if things will get better or if it will still be 2 hours of crying and climbing out of bed.
Please help, what can I do? Number 2 is arriving in 6 months and introducing a newborn into this madness will drive DH and I to despair.
I did have a thread about this a few weeks ago but since then have decided he needs to learn to fall asleep in his cot.
For his day nap he is cuddled to sleep - refuses to be put in cot awake.
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09-07-2012 20:36 #1
Teaching 17 month old to self-settle
09-07-2012 20:45 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Hugs ... I would be putting him into bed earlier ... Bedtime routine - dinner 5pm; play after dinner; bath time 6pm; out of bath and in pjs by 6.30 ... Cuddle on the couch (drink of milk) maybe watch a fave calming tv show (my kids love in the night garden). ... Bedtime 7 (when) he starts crying I would sit on the floor with my back to the cot saying shhhhhhhhhh very quietly ... Hopefully he should try to get close to where you are so lay down (does that make sense?).
When we say to our kids bedtime sometimes they object we say "who wants a shoulder ride to bed?" tonight my 4yo negotiated going to bed using roller skates to get to his bedroom.
My dd also has lots of toys in her bed ... Lightning McQueen cars, figurines etc ... Maybe try something new to take to bed.
09-07-2012 20:48 #3
Thanks, but that is how our bedtime goes pretty much - dinner at 5.30, bath at 6.15, story with me on the couch at 6.45 then to bed with DH at 7 where he has a few more stories, then lights out and cuddles.
Putting him in his cot gets him hysterical - absolutely heartbreaking sobbing. Not just angry or grizzling. I'm pretty sure even CC advocates don't encourage that? What can I do? What are my options?
Eta - he loves actually going to bed. Lots of kisses and waving goodnight, etc. it's once it's lights off he goes mental.
Maybe a nightlight?
09-07-2012 20:57 #4
Maybe take the cot out of the equation? Take the mattress out and pop it on the floor. When your DH reads a story, get him to do it lying on the mattress. If he starts settling that way, you could build up a sleep association with something transferrable back to the cot once he's settling well. Does that make sense? No idea if it will work but might be worth a shot!
09-07-2012 21:01 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Def a night light! Ikea have these fabulous egg lights my ds has one ...
Sounds like you have bedtime routine down pat ... My strongest suggestion would be as I said sit on the floor leaning on the cot shhhh ... He can touch you, you are there ... If he gets really hysterical (not just angry) I would stand up and give him a cuddle but without taking him out the cot so he would be standing when he has calmed sit down on the floor.
From his perspective he is going to be pi$$ed off if u have always cuddled him to sleep and now he is going in bed. I don't think you will get thru this without any crying but it sounds like he is crying and overtired anyway.
I'm not an expert ... Just a mum
I would be hesitant to try a big bed because I think it's really hard to go back
Hopefully you will get some other suggestions I will keep an eye out to see how you go.
10-07-2012 06:18 #6
Bump for morning peeps
10-07-2012 06:25 #7
Subbing as I need to get my 15 month old to sleep in his own bed in his own room! Without the screaming... He too has always been cuddled to sleep.
10-07-2012 06:43 #8
10-07-2012 07:06 #9
Try a musical light. My DS got use to noise being around him while he sleept so went and brought a muscial light and was the best 35 bucks ever spent!
Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
10-07-2012 07:32 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
We are in the same position as you! What state are you in? We are spending a week at a sleep school to hopefully help our situation. Also my ds has always hated his cot. He is in a big bed and I am trying to get him used to not falling asleep with the boob so I just lay next to him and pat him.
Unfortunately the sleep school does leave them to cry which I'm not happy about but I can't see any other solution, they also help you tell the difference between the cries so hopefully it will help make me more confident knowing that he's only protesting. However I have not left him in his bed to self settle so I can see many trips to put him back to bed. Unfortunately ds is awake all night wanting to comfort suck so I can not imagine being up all night with 2 babies!
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